Lucky Number 7

The 7" Special, part 2
Dang, I gots me some cool 7"s!

Little Radio Playlist 12/21/06
First Day of Winter Edition

7"inches only (who wants less?)

That's Rock and Roll - Shaun Cassidy
Hideaway - Comet Gain
I Second That Emotion - Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
Prove It - Betty Everett
Raspberry Beret - Prince
Bad Ninja - Rocket From the Crypt
Stronger Than Dirt - The Mummies
Stepping Stone - The Monkees
Pop Music - M
Sweat - Shizuo
Sara Smile - Hall & Oates
Every Little Bit Hurts - Brenda Holloway
What Goes Up - The Clientele
Talking Loud & Clear - O.M.D.
Cup to the Wall - Satisfact
Press Play & Record - Lois
Operator - Actionslacks
I Want You Back - Hoodoo Gurus
I Wanna Be With You - The Raspberries
The Man Who Sold the World - David Bowie
I'm Ready - Twilight Singers (Lo Fidelity Allstars Mix)
You Ain't the Only Man (God Created) - Jeanie reynolds
Jackie Blue - Ozark Mountain Daredevils
Hello Hello Hi - From Bubblegum to Sky
Here Kitty Kitty - Lunchbox
(a little bit of "Feed the World" from those Band-Aid people)
Late Bar - Duran Duran
I Feel Love - Donna Summer
Kids In America - Kim Wilde
Driver's Seat - Sniff N the Tears
Red Eye to Nashville - Brillantines
Breathless - X
I'll Catch You When You Fall - Betty Lavette
Plus de Liasons - Tindersticks
Careless Memories - Duran Duran

Next week will be that "Top Ten" type stuff, I promise...

We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off

Li'l Radio 12/7/06 - the naked edition

No, I wasn't naked, but there was a photo shoot going on in the warehouse that night and other people were naked. And cold. Very, very cold. Poor girls! (If I could remember the name of the dude taking the pictures, I'd provide the link for you... but all I remember was that he had a bunch of Morrissey tattoos.)

Little Radio Playlist

Bear Up Bison - Shonen Knife
You Can't Hurry Love - The Concretes
A View of the City From A Plane - Oranger
Eddie's Gun - The Kooks (live @ Abbey Road)
Sons & Daughters - The Decemberists
Faith to Arise - Terry Reid
Rockin' Chair - The Band
Hospital Beds - Cold War Kids
New Orlans - Elvis Presley
Hip Hug Her - Booker T & the MGs
I'm A Good Woman - Cold Blood
Valley of the Afro Temple - Eccentric Afros
Hong Kong Garden - Siouxsie & the Banshees
More Is More - Komeda
If You Want Me To Stay - Sly & the Family Stone
Exotic Talk - RJD2
Sweet Talk - Spank Rock
Shake Your Rump - Beastie Boys
Shut Up & Sit Down - The Sultans
Motorcycle - Love & Rockets
Visible Cow - Barkmarket
99 Problems - Jay-Z
Maniac Blues - Bellrays
Polar Bear - Ride
The Lure Would Prove Too Much - Twilight Singers
Red Guitar - David Sylvian
Do It Again - Steely Dan
How Do I Let A Good Man Down - Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
Grapefruit Moon - Tom Waits
Weary Memory - Iron & Wine
Falling In Love Again - Marlene Dietrich

Baby It's Cold Outside

It's getting brisk in LA... for the moment. Tonight's show was done with nippy fingertips, but lots o' love.

Little Radio Playlist 11/30/06

Satin Chic - Goldfrapp
Lighthouse Girl - Blue Ruin
The Ship Song - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Furnace Room Lullaby - Neko Case
Nowhere Again - Secret Machines
The Cutter - Echo & the Bunnymen
Sex Beat - The Gun Club
Praise Is Poison - The Clean Prophets
Anyone Who Had A Heart - Dusty Springfield
Ivo - Cocteau Twins
America's Boy - Broadcast
Shadow - Bailterspace
Show Buisiness - Howlin Rain
Sweet Thing - Van Morrison
Head Home - Midlake
Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
I Bleed (acoustic) - Pixies
Mr. Grieves - TV on the Radio
Close To Tears - Actionslacks
Remake/Remodel - Roxy Music
Valentine - Lois
Skidmarks on My Heart - Go Gos
Someday Someway - Marshall Crenshaw
As Does the Sun - Look Blue Go Purple
Half Blast - Throwing Muses
Special - Mew
Tears - Chameleons
Don't Change - Inxs
Moon River - Afghan Whigs

...till next week!

New Time, Same Bat Channel

NOW! From 8-10 pm PST every Thursday...

Hey - You can email me requests and I'll check them and everything. (Note that I didn't say I'd actually PLAY them... Well, you never know.) Try it: mo@littleradio.com

Little Radio Playlist 11-16-06

5:15 - The Who
Wildcat - Ratatat
Oliver Square - Cadence Weapon
Reeling - PJ Harvey
Necessary Spinning - Translator
Shake Some Action - The Flamin' Groovies
Ah La La - The Takeover UK
When My Baby's Beside Me - Big Star
Baby You're A Rich Man - Beatles
Sugar Sugar - The Archies
Feeling of Gaze - Twilight Singers
Plainsong - The Cure
Tonight - TV On The Radio
Too Busy Thinking About My Baby - Marvin Gaye
Love Makes A Woman - Barbara Acklin
Dreaming - Blondie
Fire Engines - Aislers Set
Long Live Love - Sandy Shaw
Sugar - You Am I
Cinnamon Girl - Neil Young
Vamos - Pixies
Right On - Ray Barretto
Indian Ropeman - Julie Driscoll with Brian Auger & the Trinity
Standing in the Way of Control - The Gossip (LeTigre remix)
Your Revolution - DJ Vadim w/ Sarah Jones
Woman of the Ghetto - Ohyllis Dillon
Dollar - Rocket From the Crypt
My Boy Lollipop - Millie Small
Strength - Comet Gain
No Depression - Uncle Tupelo

Get Into the Groove

Because of the goddamn traffic issue, the good people at Little Radio are letting me DJ from 8-10. Glory glory!

So, here is the last Thursday 6-8 show I'll be doing for some time...

Little Radio Playlist 11-9-06

Rumble - You Am I
I Like It - Ike & Tina Turner
Flashback - The Twilight Singers
You're No Good - Linda Ronstadt
Smiling Faces Sometimes - The Undisputed Truth
Tango - Throwing Muses
Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups
Drain Cosmetics - Serena Maneesh
Laughing - David Crosby
St. Augustine - Band of Horses
Rags & Old Iron - Oscar Brown Jr.
Poor Girl - X
Wouldn't It Be Nice - Beach Boys
Wraith Pinned to the Mist & Other Games - Of Montreal
Death Prayer in Heaven's Gate - Howlin' Rain
Across the Great Divide - The Band
She's A Burglar - Howard Tate
Mercy Mercy Mercy - Marlena Shaw
After It All - Cat Power
Love Me or Hate Me - Lady Sovereign (Missy Elliott remix)
Touch Me - Spank Rock
Meeting Paris Hilton - CSS
Waterloo - Abba
Set Out Running - Neko Case
Saint John - Cold War Kids
I'm A Good Woman - Cold Blood
Lover & A Friend - Eddie Bo & Inez Cheatham
That's the Way It's Gotta Be - The Poets
The Lure Would Prove Too Much - Twilight Singers

And that's all she wrote. Check ya next Thursday at 8pm!

The "Traffic Made Me Do It" Show

I didn't think it was possible, but traffic is getting worse in LA. Last week, it took me nearly 3 hours to get home from work - a 12 mile commute. Today, it took me almost 2 t go the 9 miles necessary to get to Little Radio downtown. I had visions of using my truck to knock other cars out of my way. I put my head in my hands and cried. I had a big shot of Jameson's on ice when I got to the studios.

Then things were a little better.

Little Radio Playlist 10/19/06

Watch the Sunrise - Big Star
Queen of the Surface Streets - DeVotchka
The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen
Submarine Bells - The Chills
The Paris Match - Style Council
Listen Up - The Gossip
Loud Pipes - Ratatat
The Lonely Ones - The Takeover UK
Ever Thought of Coming Back - Kelley Stoltz
Busby Berkeley Dreams - The Magnetic Fields
This Flight Tonight - Joni Mitchell
Shakin' Sugar - Jay Bennett & Edward Burch
Hang Me Out to Dry - Cold War Kids
This Old Heart of Mine - Delroy Wilson
Leave It In the Hands of Love - Phylliss Dillon
After It All - Cat Power
You - Rogue Wave
Gone - Golden Smog
Anthrax - Gang of Four
In Every Dream Home a Heartache - Roxy Music
Run Rabbit Run - Twilight Singers
The Man With the Child In His Eyes - Kate Bush
I Left My Heart All Over the Place - Tim Rogers & the Twin Set
White Daisy Passing - Rocky Votolato
Margarita - Sleepy Brown ft. Big Boi & Pharrell
Natural Man - Lou Rawls
Foxy Girls in Oakland - Rodger Collins
Right On - Ray Barretto
If You Want Me To Stay - Sly & the Family Stone
Beyond Belief - Elvis Costello
Celluloid Heroes - The Kinks
The Lure Would Prove Too Much - Twilight Singers (I really DO love this song!)

Also...

This show was a bit of a birthday present for Warren, who lives in Berlin so didn't hear it anyway. But Happy Birthday!

The Lure Would Prove Too Much

Today I was able to completely dork out on my new favorite Twilight Singers song EVER. Really. It's dreamy and beautiful and makes me cry, and I could not tell you why. It's from their new EP, A Stitch in Time. Get it from iTunes; yu won't be sorry. You'll swoon. Really.

Little Radio Playlist 10/12/06

The Lure Would Prove Too Much - Twilight Singers
A Method - TV On the Radio
Radio Waves - OMD
Don't Save Us From the Flames - M83
When You Sleep - My Bloody Valentine
Hand Me Downs - Soul Position
I Know He'll Be Back Someday - Jeanie Reynolds
Hush - Deep Purple
Mt. Pleasant - Tuscadero
Photograph - Def Leppard
Matineed - The Corn Sisters
He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones
To Cry About - Mary Margaret O'Hara
Next Time - JOhnnie Taylor
Ladt Don't Tek No - Latyrx
Jewels & Bullets - You Am I
Green Eyes - Husker Du
She Speeds - Straightjacket Fits
Crash & Burn - The Snowmen
Paranoid - Black Sabbath
Git Back - Sugar Pie Desanto
Heaven's In the Back Seat of My Cadillac - Hot Chocolate
Buick Mackane - T. Rex
Mania - Throwing Muses
Little Lover's So Polite - Silversun Pickups
California - Low
Skyway - Replacements
Still Be Around - Uncle Tupelo
Marmalade - Geraldine Fibbers
The Lure Would Prove Too Much

Really, the best Twilight Singers song ever. And they're hitting the road again on th 24th - go see them!!!

Drive My Car

Today, the Little Radio show was delayed about 20 minutes because it took me an hour and 20 minutes to get from the westside of LA to downtown LA. This is maybe 11 miles. Sigh.

So here goes...

Little Radio Playlist
10/5/06

Breathless - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Lives of Crime - Fruit Bats
A Month of Sundays - The Church
My God Insane - Edith Frost
I Wish I Was the Moon - Neko Case
Things Got to Get Better - Lyn Collins
I'ma Man - The Spencer davis Group
Wicked Annabella - The Kinks
Striped White Jets - Guided By Voices
Supahero - Aceyalone
Frosted Flake - Redd Kross
I'm Down - The Beatles
Baby Please Don't Go - Them
Taste the Last Girl - Sons & Daughters
Alec Eiffel - Pixies
Fall At Your Feet - Magnet
The Bitterest Pill - The Jam
Your Ex-Lover Is Dead - Stars
Girl Don't Come - Sandie Shaw
Legal Man - Belle & Sebastian
I Don't Care - Teenage Fanclub
Undecided - Ella Fitzgerald
I Second That Emotion - Japan
Just Another High - Roxy Music
Do Nothin' Till You Hear From Me - Nina Simone
Domani - Twilight Singers
You Got the Love - Rufus (& Chaka Khan)
True Love Pt. 2 - X

Till next week...

Yowza Yowza Yowza

Little Radio Playlist 9/28/06

Feelin' a bit groovy for this show...

Papau New Guinea - Future Sound of London
Tito's Way - The Juan Maclean
Lickout - The Hip Joints
What'd I Say - Parts 1 & 2
Terror - The Rakes
Transmission - Joy Division
The Mask feat. Ghostface - Danger Doom
You're Thing Ain't No Good Without My Thing - Marie "Queenie" Lyons
Twine Time - Alvin Cash & the Crawlers
Right On - Ray Barretto
Do It Right - The Three Tops feat. Phyllis Dillon
Pnoy Express - The Pioneers
Nite Klub - The Specials
She Bangs the Drums - The Stone Roses
Uptown Again - The Afghan Whigs
Feel Good Hit of the Summer - Queens of the Stone Age
Dynastie Crisis - Faust 72
A Minha Menina - Os Mutantes
Kamasutra - Vampyros Lesbos soundtrack
Golden Years - David Bowie
Tobago - Nature Boy
I Love A Man in a Uniform - Gang of Four
Editions of You - Roxy Music
Reflections - The Supremes
A Lover's Concerto - The Toys
How Do You Let A Good Man Down - Sharon Jones
Liberation Conversation - Marlena Shaw
Carry On - Jean Knight
Bold Soul Sister - Ike & Tina Turner
Sing A Simple Song - Sly & the Family Stone

Get down, my friends...

Sweet Mary Jane

2 weekends ago, after I got back from a horrid trip to Dallas (it wasn't totally Dallas' fault), I went to see an awesome show. Neko Case (swoon!), Ryan Adams (double swoon!) and Willie Nelson (whoa nelly!). It was at the Hollywood Bowl, a swanky outdoor affair in the hills.

Neko Case was amazing. I went by myself, and was sitting in a pack of older folks. Like their late 50's, early 60's. They had no clue who Neko Case was. One fellow said to me, "You like her?" "Oh," I replied, "I LOVE her." "Well, she's different." I never get that. She's about as country as country gets to me, except for the fact that she also kinda sounds like a soul singer. I suppose that's different. By the end of her set, my benchmates were won over, and busted out the pot brownies.

Good thing they did, because as soon as she ended, the stage rotated around to present a totally yoked out Ryan Adams (in hip worn thin Batman tee) and his band. They immediately kicked into "Cold Roses" and then pretty much did songs just like it for the next hour. He was doing his best Neil Young/ Grateful Dead possible. You know, the first time I went to a Dead show, I fell asleep. The second time, I was smarter about it and took shrooms. There was no such relief this evening... I even got bored thinking about how hot Mr. Adams looked. (Has he been doing yoga for like, 8 hours a day or something? Wow.) Anyway, he broke it up a little with an injection of "Shakedown on 9th Street," which made me realized how sleepy I'd gotten. I guess I should just be glad he showed up and played anything, right?

And then, Mr. Willie Nelson.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you what he did because I was on a contact high. I remember "Always On My Mind," "On the Road Again," "Whiskey River," "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys," "Me & Paul," and "Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground" (LOVE that one!). I remember he let his sister Bobbie do a piano jam, and he let his mega hot sons do a rippin' blues number. And Willie's pants were pulled up to his nipples and his bandana kept the braids in check. That band was having a good ole time, for sure.

How good a time they were having was verified by the police today, as Willie and his band got busted for pot and 'shrooms on the bus. I just love that a 73 year old got nailed with 1 1/2 pounds of pot, AND 'shrooms! Of course, the whole band claimed the drugs, so everyone got a misdemeanor.

And after the cops left, they had to figure out where to score more weed. Dude!

Stalker Tendencies

I finally made it back to Little Radio.

9/14/2006

Whiskey River - Willie Nelson
You Should See Her Now - Tim Rogers
Breathless - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Death & the Maiden - The Verlaines
Ahead - Wire
Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross
Hard to Handle - Patti Drew
Seven Days - The Apollas
Watcha Gonna Do About It - The Small Faces
Your Mama Won't Like Me - Suzi Quatro
Ethyl My Love - The Muffs
Already Gone - The Eagles
What Am I Doing Hangin' Round - The Monkees
Too Far Gone - The Feelies
Charles - Scrawl
What Would the Community Think - Cat Power
Heavy Heart - You Am I
The Applecross Wing Commander - You Am I
Ordinary - You Am I
Arse Kicking Lady From the Northwest - Tim Rogers & the Twin Set
Who Takes Who Home - You Am I
I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles
I Hope This Makes It Easier For You - Actionslacks
Decatur St. - Twilight Singers
Crumbs Off The Table - Laura Lee
Something I've Got To Tell You - The Honeycombs
Crimson & Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
I Wish I Was the Moon - Neko Case
A Man Like Me - Beulah
Movies of Antarctica - Stars of Track and Field
Ocean Rain - Echo & the Bunnymen

As you can see, I wound up doing a bit of a You Am I thing. You Am I are a brilliant rock band from Australia, playing at Spaceland in LA on October 22nd, and the Bottom of the Hill in SF on the 23rd. Then the Twilight Singers are playing SF's Great American on the 24th and LA's House of Blues the 25th. (If you were a good stalker, you'd know where to find me each of those nights.)

You see, on August 30th, I got to see Tim Rogers & Tex Perkins play at Tangiers in Los Feliz just a not-so-quick walk from my house. Who the fuck are they? (You may ask...) Tim Rogers fronts one of Australia's best bands, you Am I. I mean, they play freakin' stadiums and shit (well, maybe not that huge, but pretty damn huge) over in Oz, and here they play bitty clubs. Tex Perkins fronts the Beasts of Bourbon. Not as huge as You Am I, but still notable for sure.

Anyway, the two of them released a record together called T N T (clever on sooo many levels, boys), partially silly and partially heartbreaking, and all around good. Then they played these little venues around the States. I was there with maybe 40 other people, and talked to Tim afterwards and took the dorky pic that didn't turn out but was still glad to do so. He was terribly nice.

Thing is, You Am I hasn't played California since about 1998 or so. I can't remember the exact date, but it was a long time ago. And they'll be here twice. And I'm going.

It just so happens that my other current favorite band (and friends... Isn't it lucky when you like your friends' band?)will be starting their current leg of the Powder Burns tour the very next night in SF... The Twilight Singers. Greg Dulli and Mark Lanegan (hmmm, the Gutter Twins and T N T... are all my favorite bands getting all "we are family" and shit on me?) will awe the crowds again all over the frikkin' world for 7 weeks.

Guess we have some rock shows to attend, right?

Pussy Magnet

There's just something about my apartment that draws all sorts of random cats to it. Inevitably, they try to move in. It isn't just my place, but the other 3 apartments have experienced this phenonmenon as well. Gigi, a frisky neighbor's cat, would often hang out with the dog downstairs after having flirted her way through everyone's else's vacinity. The cat next door can often be found on our steps, and a black & orange calico is in the habit of storming my front door when I get home.

Last Saturday night/Sunday morning, I dragged myself home with a migraine after a DJ gig at about 3:30 in the morning and somehow got to sleep soon after. But a little "Mew! Mew!" woke me up about 6am. I shut my windows, wanting to have no part of whatever cute kitten was in distress outside, because if a cute kitten was in distress outside, it was gonna wind up in my apartment before long. But it turned out it was already in my apartment, sorta. It was on the landing outside my hallway in my laundry room. Luckily for me, it had a collar, name and phone number... so not completely lost.

She was a little black and white short hair, prone to purring, named Anita. I picked her up and said, "Listen, I'm really tired, so I need you to be quiet so I can get some sleep. We'll hang later." She was quiet. The next afternoon, my neighbor called: "Is that your cat on the landing?" She was still there, and very happy to see me. And she stayed there till about Tuesday afternoon.My roommate and I probably played with her more than our cats appreciated. We also made her a little bed and left her some food and water. She was a fun little thing. I had called her owner's number, but got a "memory full" message, so I figured they must be on vacation or something.

After talking with the neighbors, it turned out the cat had been crashing in the building for about a week. Buncha softy cat people, we are...

This Friday night as I was getting out of my car, a woman approached me and asked me if I had seen a little black & white cat. I said, "Anita?" She said, "Yes! I've been looking for her all night; she got out last night." "You mean she got out a week ago." The woman said, "I've been housesitting and, well, you know how cats get out." "No, I haven't seen her, but if I do I'll bring her by."

Saturday morning rolled around and my parents were in town. The Sunset Junction Street Fair was just kicking off for the weekend, so we decided to check it out. We were heading towards Sunset and I was telling them about Anita when there she was, running straight for me, all "Mew! Mew!" and everything.

So I picked her up and walked her over to her house. As I did, a family in a Volvo drove up. The dad got out and said, "You doing a little catnapping?" "Well, not unless it's necessary," I replied. I told him how I was just bringing her home because I'd heard she had escaped again. "Oh, well, we're housesitting, and we hoped to have her back before they got home."

"You're housesitting?" My mom said. "Yes," replied the man. "Well, you're doing a horrible job." "What?" he said. "This cat could have been hit by a car or eaten by coyotes and it's not even yours. Are they actually paying you for this? Because I wouldn't!" Then my mom did an old lady style "harumph" noise which caused this guy to go completely red. I handed him Anita and said, "Maybe you'd better keep an eye on her till the real owners get back." He didn' answer, but we also haven't seen Anita again.

I guess the moral of this story is keep your cats locked up when in Silverlake, or they will wind up at my house. And you'll run the risk of getting bitched out by my mom. Trust me, that sucks.

Seven Inch Special

This show was all about seven inches of hard black vinyl. Go:

Little Radio Playlist 8/17/06

Too Busy Thinking About My Baby - Marvin Gaye
Whenever You're On My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw
No Matter What - Badfinger
Human Fly - The Cramps
Kiasu - Celia Mancini
The Crying Room - The Ghost Club
Theme From mantrap - ABC
Let Me Down Easy - Betty Lavette
Gambler's Game - The Nightcaps
Bim Bam Baby - The Useless Playboys
Raleigh - Arcwelder
Gaskrankinstation - Headless Chickens
Dirty Laundry - Don Henley
Girls - Inspector Double Negative & the Equal Positives
Pocket Calculator - Kraftwerk
Ain't No Easy Way - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Tupelo - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Wicked - Twilight Singers
Every Little Bit Hurts - Brenda Holloway
Heartbreak Hotel - Elvis Presley
Web In Front - Archers of Loaf
Stereo - Pavement
Going Down to Liverpool - The Bangles
Hideaway - Comet Gain
Love Plus One - Haircut 100
Tar Moochers - Throwing Muses
Golden Brown - The Stranglers
Here Comes Everybody - Autolux
The Light Pours Out of Me - Magazine
Boychucker - Rocket From the Crypt
Lazy Line Painter Jane - Belle & Sebastian

Name That Tune

Zee playlist (and there is only a tiny bit of French):

Little Radio A Go Go: 8/10/2006

Interstate 5 - The Wedding Present
Wooden Floor - David Kilgore
Lily & Parrots - Sun Kil Moon
Mainstreet Crush - The Takeover U.K.
Ballroom Blitz - The Sweet
Black Cat - Broadcast
Sacre Frances - Dimitri From Paris
Put Yourself in My Place - Jan Panter
He's A Mover - Nikki & the Corvettes
Glycerine Queen - Suzi Quatro
Annie's Gone - Redd Kross
Mommy's Little Monster - Social Distortion
Collapse / Ultra Mega - Mr. Lif
Ego Trippin' - Nikki Giovanni
Everybody Wants You - Billy Squier
Born In 69 - Rocket From the Crypt
You Ain't Woman Enough - Loretta Lynn
Poor Ellen Smith - Kristin Hersh
Wet Blanket - The Chills
When My Baby's Beside Me - Big Star
Inside of Me - The Starlight Mints
Summoning of the Muse - Dead Can Dance
In My Room - Yaz
Telephone Operator - Pete Shelley
Don't Bring Me Down - ELO
Milez Iz Ded - Afghan Whigs
Crowd Pleaser - Lion Fever
Persephone - Cocteau Twins
Confusion Boats - John Vanderslice
Do the Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
Answering Machine - The Replacements

Ashes to Ashes

The BFF wanted me to point out the most valuable of all Star Wars collectibles out there right now, and I have to agree... It's quite special.



-In case you can't read the fine print: OWEN LARS AND AUNT BERU (CHARRED)

Let the Music Play

I've been laggin', this shoulda been here a couple days ago. But, well, I've been dealing with my totaled car. GRRRRRRR!!!

You wanna know what I played? Well, here is what I played:

Starry Eyes - The Records
Everybody - Lunchbox
The Way She Goes - Henry's Dress
Cruiser's Creek - The Fall
Manipulation - The Black Angels
Crystalator - Dimmer
Requiem - Killing Joke
Already Yours - Curve
Teen Angst - M83
Cheaper to Keep Her - Johnnie Taylor
Anti Love Song - Betty Davis
The Horror - RJD2
Nothing Really - Nameless & Faceless
Details of the War - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Don't Let Your Love Grow Away - Cold War Kids
Far Side of Crazy - Wall of Voodoo
Somewhere In Texas - The Raveonettes
Urban Struggle - The Vandals
Voices Inside (Everything is Everything) - Donny Hathaway
Homies - Savoir Faire
Clyde - The Twilight Singers
The Chain - Fleetwood Mac
How Do You Let A Good Man Down - Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings
I Call It Trouble - Barbara Acklin
Pretty Ugly - 50 Foot Wave
I Got A Woman - Elvis Presley
I Wanna See Your Face Again - Uni & Her Ukelele
These Parts - Lois Maffeo & Brendan Canty
Horizon - Let's Active
Cuerpos Harah Amor Extrano - Gris Gris


Little Radio Playlist 7/27/2006

Remember, I'm on LittleRadio.com every Thursday from 6-8pm, PST. Tune in, say hi, etc...

Welcome to My Nightmare

Hit and run. Just like my men.



I was actually getting something out of the car from behind the seat when some loser hit the door less than a foot away from me. Yay! Well, I've been thinking about getting a new car for a long time, but man - did I LOVE my ride.

Totally totaled. R.I.P.

And thanks to my pals who were way more flipped out about this than I was because I am VERY slow to react... Warren for being calm, Rachael for helping beyond the call of duty, Iiad for the silver lining, Greg for lotsa laughing, Steve for the mutual bitchfest, and Tracy for putting together that rat bastard's busted headlight so we could figure out it was a Toyota!

Twinkle Twinkle

Little Radio - The Mellow Show 7/20/2006

I've not gotten enough sleep this week... to much action out there to participate in! So today was kinda mellow. Except for when it wasn't. Here goes:

Long Hot Summer - The Style Council
L.A. Girls - Bart Davenport
I Will - The Beatles
Long Time Coming - The Delays
Strasbourg - The Rakes
Try A Little Sunshine - Factory
Start - Throwing Muses
Chorale Luck - Serena-Maneesh
We're Leaving - DeVotchka
Deanna (acoustic) - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Carmelita - Linda Ronstadt
The False Husband - Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan
Worried Mind - Johnny Dowd
Vapour Trail - Ride
Flutterby - Helen Stellar
Runaways - XTC
Come In Out of the Rain - Engineers
Projects - Bailter Space
Jamie - Girls Vs. Boys
Hot Child In the City - Nick Gilder
Make Me Yours - Phyllis Dillon
Oh No Not My Baby - Maxine Brown
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood - Neko Case
Halah - Mazzy Star
Tonight - Ornament
Wild About You Baby - Elmore James
Could We - Cat Power
Do Nothin' Till You Hear From Me - Nina Simone
Do the Beng Beng - Derrick Morgan
Ed Is Dead (acoustic) - Pixies
Psychedilic Pucho - Pucho & the Latin Soul Brothers

Dance With Me

Today was in my car for almost 4 hours, and I drove it maybe 40 miles. That's disgusting. Needless to say, I started my show late - I'm sorry! But it was a blast. I had this loose theme of "Music I Like To Dance to That Other People Probably Wouldn't Completely Get." Here goes:

Little Radio Playlist 7/13/2006

Cold Black Preach - Barry Adamson
Kick In The Eye - Bauhaus
I Broke My Saw - Love Tractor
Safety In Numbers - The Rondelles
I'm Down - The Beatles
I'll Take You There - The Staples Singers
Sexy Results - Death From Above 1979
Start - The Jam
Too Nice To Talk To - The English Beat
I'm Ready - Twilight Singers (the Lo-Fidelity Allstars remix)
Sweet Talk - Spank Rock
Ladyflash - The Go! Team
TP's Shing A Ling - Tito Puente
The Frog - The Village Callers
Our Hospitality - Komeda
Stay With Me - The Faces
Editions of You - Roxy Music
New Toy - Lene Lovich
Chantilly Lace - Bip Bopper
Rumble - You Am I
I Can't Dance With You - The Small Faces
Spoon - Cibo Matto
Natural Man - Lou Rawls
Hey Deannie - Shaun Cassidy
Open Your Eyes - The Nazz
I Know There's Something Going on - Frida
I Can't Dance to That Music You're Playing - Martha Reeves & the Vandellas
Diamond Shine - The Clean

Thanks for listening!

Filthy Gorgeous

Absolutely not. Here is a dirty story...

A few months back, I was hit on by a stripper. A male stripper dancing in a gay club. And he called me and sent me text messages and picture messages of his flexy bad self. I try not to repeat myself too often here, but this was a hilarious (bordering on annoying) situation that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, so here are the bullet points:

- The club was called Rimjob.
- The stripper was wearing undies and a cowboy hat.
- He chewed gum like the little coke whore he most likely was.
- He would leave me detailed messages about his various workouts, and actually used the phrase "crack my abs," twice.
- He would general use the term "sexy lady" in every other sentence when speaking to my voice mail.
- He worked exclusively in gay bars.

Why did I give him my number? Because it was funny. Because my gay friends were adamant that I do so - because it was funny. And, well, he's pretty hot. Dirty, but hot. (For the original posts, click here for Part One, and here for Part Two.)

These are the questions I wanted to ask him:

1. Are you gay?
2. Okay then, you must be bi...
3. Do you keep pictures of yourself on your phone to just send out to all the phone numbers you've collected at your various gigs?
4. Who takes these pictures of you?
5. What do you want to be: model or actor?
6. Why do you go-go dance at all these gay places if you aren't totally gay?
7. Are you a total gigolo or what?
8. How many drugs do you take?

I now know the answer to Number 7.

YES!

While my best friend was casually surfing gay porn sites the other night, he came across this:

Treat Yourself To a Great Time .. Im an all American boy nextdoor type
Highschool wrestler..Looking for Someone whos into Bodyworship Or
appreciating a Very Masculine Man...... Do you love giving head until I
blow
a hot load ...I'm your man.... Do you feel like a Naughty boy? Do you
need
to be spanked? I'll Spank that ass..! I'll be your DADDY. Dont mind
delivering water sports...Not a recipient. Very sweet and down to earth
small town boy. Pefer Calls to E-mail. No Calls before 10 am.......
Sexy as
fuck ..You won't be dissappointed.....Flash

Really! And there were pictures! Including one he sent me! We loved that, because at the time, we were wondering who could have taken the picture. He obviously didn't do it, and it was in his cell phone. Does he keep a stock pile to send out to potential "clients?" That's what we jokingly thought at the time, and it turns out it's true. He charges $275 for what I could've had for free. Unless he thought I was a Sugar Mama. Ha!

So here's the pic for you all to enjoy. Bon appetit.

Oh, by the way, he's a Top.

Birthday Blog

I know, I neglect you and then I ask for things. I can be a brat sometimes, I guess.

It's my birthday month. Despite the fact that I didn't want to do anything, I find that there are quite a few little celebratory things going on. Last Sunday, one of my best friends let us have a little "Cancers rule!" pool party at his beautiful home under the Hollywood sign. Last night, my ex-husband took me to see Belle & Sebastian at the Hollywood Bowl with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. For the first time ever, I did not doze off at a B&S show! I'll write more on that later. There are still dinners and parties to be had - July is a great month.

So if any of my pals want to get me a present, here are some ideas:

CDs:
BRMC - Howl
Cadence Weapon - Breaking Kayfabe
Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
Cat Power - The Greatest
v/a - No New York
Neil Diamond - a greatest hits - I don't want it live, and it MUST have "Cherry Cherry," "Cracklin' Rosie," and "Kentucky Woman" on it.
v/a - Soul Jazz Records presents Tropicalia
The Twilight Singers - Blackberry Belle ON VINYL... gatefold and everything!
Go! Team - Ladyflash 12"
Hot Chip - Over & Over 12"

Books:
Fool the World: The Oral History of a Band Called Pixies
The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band
Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground

DVDs -
Six Feet Under (any and all of them)

And thank you very much, in advance.

The British Invasion

Little Radio Playlist 6/29/2006 - Scott Ford edition!

Today on Little radio, I had a Very Special Guest. His name is Scott Ford, and he's this English guy who plays bass with the Twilight Singers. He does lots of other things too, like get tattoos, do awesome web design, take great photos and make out with his hot girlfriend, but today, we just focused on the music thing. Scott ambled in with his favorite songs on a CD, so we popped it into the player, and off we went! After a few technical glitches, we were smooth sailing. Here's what we played:

Live With Me - Twilight Singers w/Mark Lanegan (Live, Massive Attack cover)
Bonnie Brae - Twilight Singers
Redemption Song - Johnny Cash & Joe Strummer
Bring It Back - Mates of State
Permanent Solution - Pleasure Club
Hyperballad - Bjork (live)
Velouria - Pixies
Eton Rifles - The Jam
Hide & Seek - Imogen Heap
Sublime - Twilight Singers (w/Joe Arthur, unreleased track)
Suzanne - Jeff Klein
Hit the City - Mark Lanegan (w/ PJ Harvey)
? (Scott couldn't remember) - Afterhours
Obsession (?) - John Frusciante
Pussywillow - Greg Dulli
Hurt - Johnny Cash
Since You Been Gone - Rainbow
Let It Be - Nick Cave
Neat Neat Neat - The Damned
Poison - Rancid
New England - Billy Bragg
Some Cities - The Doves
Destination Diamond - Diamond Nights
Czar - Frank Black
(?) - Gadjits
We Are Not the Losers Anymore - Actionslacks
Sister Surround - Soundtrack to Our Lives
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys

Thanks for tuning in!

Totally true

Totally stole this from my BFF... Thanks Steve!

Overheard at lunch today:

Cool Guy In The Know: "I can't wait to see "Idyllwild"

Dumb Girl He's Banging: "What's that?"

Cool Guy: "The Outkast movie."

Dumb Girl: "What's it about?"

Cool Guy: "Prohibition..."

Dumb Girl: "OH!...You mean civil rights!..awesome!"

Cool Guy: -blank stare-


I almost spit out my koo koo roo... (that's chicken, for all you non-LA peeps)

Isn't LA awesome?

My Big Fat Gay Weekend

I’m a total fag hag. Have I ever mentioned this? Well, I am. But not as much as I used to be. (Hell, my mom’s a fag hag too. These things run in the family, it seems.) I used to be at gay clubs every weekend, but now I have more gay friends who like to see bands and stuff. Essentially, I don’t find myself in the clubs so much.

Last weekend was Pride LA, however, when all the gays gather in one 6 block area of roped off street in West Hollywood. But that’s not where we start this… I wasn’t at Pride on Saturday night, when bands like Animotion (oh my, yes! Animotion!) and the Bangles were tearin’ it up.

I was at a warehouse in what I like to call “the rotten food district” of downtown LA. Peaches was playing. It was a private party to showcase her new band, because…well… she never had a band before. Now she’s on that Bauhaus / Nine Inch Nails tour, and decided she should have a band. And they ROCKED! Samantha Maloney on drums (she’s played with Hole AND Motley Crue and was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen with sticks), JD from Le Tigre, and that Radio chick who has played with every hot indie lesbian group ever, and I can’t think of the name of a single one.

Anyway, it was crazy fun. Tons of gay boys crammed up against the stage yelling stuff like “shake yer dix shake yer tits” and “come diddle my skittle” and such. Girls were headbanging girls. I think half the actresses from “The L Word” were there. By the end of the show (after a couple costume changes) she was wearing a black cape with a hot pink “XXX” emblazoned across the back. Hmmm… what else is in the teaches of Peaches? All… right.

The next day was Pride, and BOY, was it boring!

My friends were entertaining. There were three stages… the one for all the pretty circuit boys to dance at (which we started to refer to as Waxlandia) which was blaring the mindless house music, one that featured the worst live music ever collected in one place, and one that was, essentially, the gay Mexican cowboy stage. Drag queens done up like Celia Cruz and singing Madonna to line dancing crowds dominated this scene, and it kinda ruled.

By the time Bow Wow Wow was creaking out a tragic version of “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” I decided to cab it home. I had a real show to get to… Spank Rock at Spaceland.

The set was opened by Low Budget from Hollertronix, and immediately made me and my friend hyper. How awesome is that? My tired, jaded ass got up to dance. Now, I’m always one to dance at shows, but this was practically REAL dancing. It was an excellent warmup for the main act, who tore it up, real nasty electronica hip hop style. Does that make sense?

Spank Rock has lots of lyrics like ‘tap that ass” and “funky ass titties” and “hump back tramp” and stuff. So I supposed my weekend was filled with squelchy electronic beats and raunchy lowest common denominator lyrics. But so what? It was fun. It had a good beat and you could dance to it. A lot.

Afterwards, my friend and I were outside talking to some other folks when someone noticed Dave Chapelle was standing by the side walk. Turns out that his best friend, Mos Def, was also nearby. I actually got to meet Mos about a month ago, and he was a sweetheart and just the nicest guy, so I decided to say hi.
Luckily, he remembered who the hell I was , and was again, the nicest guy. We talked about Spank Rock, who he had been talking to when I approached, and was so excited about the show he was sort of hopping around. Then he said, “You know, I meant to tell you when I was at your office, but you have amazing teeth.” This made me laugh out loud, because my fangs (they are in the wrong place so I can sometimes look a bit like a vampire) are a tricky subject in my household, but most people don’t even notice. Except Mos Def, and he thinks they are amazing.

Sigh.

And that was the weekend of June 10th – 11th. It is now officially summer, so let’s see what else comes up…

Hey Mr. (Ms.) DJ...

Today was nice and fun and scary all at the same time. How? Oh, you know!

Little Radio Playlist 6/15/2006

Nothing Natural - Lush
Panic Attack At Breakfast - Hellen Stellar
Colourblind - The Clouds
Soul Soldier - Throwing Muses
Beautiful Things - The 3Ds
Ghosts - Lewis Taylor
Nightporter - Japan
Japanese Queen - Tigarah
Sunshine (remix) - Nicolette
Johnny Barleycorn - Frank Black
Wouldn't It Be Nice - The Beach Boys
Ever Thought of Coming Back - Kelley Stoltz
And I'm Thinking - The Sneetches
I Wanna Be With You - The Raspberries
Doctor Funk - Smiley introducing Karen Taylor
Girls - Inspector Double Negative & the Equal Positives
Sharks - Cadence Weapon
Fuck the Pain Away - Peaches
Leaving For Good - Moving Picture Show
Masoko Tanga - The Police
Tom Drunk - U Roy
I Know He'll Be Back Someday - Jeanie Reynolds
One Hundred Years - The Cure
I'm Ready - The Twilight Singers
Trouble - Elliott Smith
Portland is Leaving - Rocky Votolato
Cactus Cat - Look Blue Go Purple
Love Me Like You - The Magic Numbers

Next week I'll be in NYC, so if you tune in, you may hear a repeat of a show I did in 2004. Yowza!

Cat Power

To all the non-believers...

WEST MILFORD, N.J. - A black bear picked the wrong yard for a jaunt, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree — twice.

Jack, a 15-pound orange and white cat, keeps a close vigil on his property, often chasing small animals, but his owners and neighbors say his latest escapade was surprising.

"We used to joke, 'Jack's on duty,' never knowing he'd go after a bear," owner Donna Dickey told The Star-Ledger of Newark for Friday's editions.

Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti first spotted Jack's accomplishment after her husband saw a bear climb a tree on the edge of their northern New Jersey property on Sunday. Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat.

After about 15 minutes, the bear descended and tried to run away, but Jack chased it up another tree.



Now, THAT'S a cat!

Ladykiller

So the deal is... Many years ago I dated this guy. We had a good time, and some troubles, like all couples do. Regardless, it ended badly, VERY badly. As time went by, we slowly got to be friends again as I forgave him for the ghastly wrongs he did. However, recent actions have caused me to retract said friendship and proclaim him a "Total Fucking Scumbag."

So this show was the special "My Ex Boyfriend Rik Sanchez Is A Total Fucking Scumbag" edition. And boy, did it feel good. Sorry to anyone who was offended... but boy, I kinda deserved this.

Little Radio Playlist 6/8/2006 "Fucking Scumbag" edition

Outside of Town - The Geraldine Fibbers
There Goes My Gun - The Pixies
Running With the Devil - Van Halen
Early Today (and Later That Night) - Greg Dulli
Drop Dead - Siouxsie & the Banshees
Negative Creep - Nirvana
Coney Island Whitefish (Scumbag!) - Joan Jett
Stone Cold Dead in the Market - Ella Fitzgerald
Just Go Away - Blondie
Stutter - Elastica
Acid in My Heart - Sleepy Jackson
Epitaph For My Heart - The Magnetic Fields
Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode
Boys Keep Swinging - David Bowie
Nasty - Janet Jackson
Listen Up - The Gossip
Deceptacon - Le Tigre
Pearls At Swine - The Lovedolls
Gutless - Hole
Snake - PJ Harvey
Rid of Me - PJ Harvey
Momma's Boy - Sonic Youth w/Nancy Sinatra
Anthrax - Gang of 4
You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi
Smoke Rings - The Shocker
Given the Dog A Bone - ACDC
Close Your Eyes - Kristin Hersh
6'1 - Liz Phair
Johnny Hit & Run Pauline - X
Touch Me I'm Sick - Mudhoney
Die Die My Darling - The Misfits

Next week will be all sweetness and roses again, I swear.

Away From the Waves

It was last Saturday, the first Saturday in June, and it was really crazy hot. One of those dry Los Angeles one-hundred-degrees-in-the-shade hot. The sky was piercingly blue, because it hadn't quite been hot enough for it to be brown, and it was just rainy recently, so things were still a bit... clean. No June gloom yet.

I was leaving Los Feliz, having finished up with some errands (more like shopping and fondling kittens for far too long - they were sooooo cute!) and was cruising down Hillhurst to Sunset. I was, of course, listening to Powder Burns by the Twilight Singers, which has hardly left my car stereo since March. Majestic. "Underneath the Waves" came on as I made that left onto Sunset, and the sundown absolutely blazed in through my rear window. It was that "brightest before the dark" thing, when sunglasses aren't really all that much help. "Underneath the Waves" is not my number one song on the album, but at that particular moment, it was the only song that could even possibly have worked, especially as I cruised back up my street and towards my place. It was like there was nothing else except for that light and that song.

It would have been sooooooo much better if my sunroof wasn't busted, because then everyone else would have heard it too. But that's something I keep meaning to fix.

In the meantime, go get that album.

The Bitterest Pill

Sadly, this is something that I, and too many other women I know, have had to deal with in our short lifespans - the threat of cervical cancer. So this is welcome news (and something that has been coming down the pike for a few years now):

If the Food and Drug Administration rules as expected on a new vaccine next month, cancer of the cervix could be prevented by a vaccine. Last week, an F.D.A. advisory board unanimously endorsed the vaccine, which protects against infection with human papillomavirus or HPV.

There have been only a few times in my life as a physician when I've been able to say (at least to myself), "This is truly big news." My colleagues are saying the same thing. But they are also asking how this promising new treatment will be made available to women and girls worldwide.

In the 30 years since I saw my patient, HPV has been demonstrated to be the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world and the cause of almost all cervical cancers.

(Read the entire article here.)

There is also a vaccine against herpes, which has already been proven to work in women, but not men. So what? If the girls can't catch it. the guys can't spread it. It goes extinct. Same with HPV.

So what is the hesitation with these vaccines? Number one: cost. If all girls are vaccinated around the age of 12, hopefully before they become sexually active, it will cost between $300 and $500 for each girl. And there are a lot of girls in this country.

And the second problem is... Promiscuity. What? Huh? Well, all those super hardcore Christian types are arguing that if girls get this vaccine at such a young age, it will lead them down the road to ruin because they will think they are invincible. I'm not kidding. The future health of our world's women, and the potential eradication of not one, BUT TWO diseases... ONE OF WHICH IS CANCER... is being held back due to morality issues stemming from the conservatives.

I really can't say anything more about it. I just wish this vaccine was around when I was younger, so that my sister and myself, and countless other friends, did not have to go through the fear, pain, and medical procedures brought on by chasing off this cancer in its early stages. Because we got lucky.

If we had been around 30 years earlier, we would have died. Just a thought.

I Am What I Play

My return to Little Radio! Thanks to Jimmy and Dave and the crew for inviting me back... it was A BLAST! It was also the first time I hit the freeways of LA smack at 5pm, going from Bundy on the I-10 east to downtown LA. Um... yuck. I was sort of driving by Braille... My car is small, and I was constantly surrounded by Fed Ex trucks, SUVs and moving vans, which meant I could hardly ever see anything in front of me. Good thing I know the buildings cuz I couldn't see any freeways signs. Lovely.

So here's what I played!

Little Radio Playlist 6/1/2006
















Strawberry Letter # 23 - The Brothers Johnson
Supahero - Aceyalone
Born Into the World - Supersystem
Retreat (Phones remix) - The Rakes
Hex - Neko Case
Driver's Seat - Sniff 'n' the Tears
Everywhere That I'm Not - Translator
Lives of Crime - Fruit Bats
I Don't Care - Teenage Fanclub
Freedom Park - Marah
I Hear a Symphony - The Supremes
Now Dig This! - The CReeps
Mr. Kicks - Oscar Brown Jr.
The Mating Game - Bitter Sweet
Dialing A Prayer - Straightjacket Fits
Powder Burns - Twilight Singers
Hand Me Downs - Soul Position
Smiling Faces Sometimes - The Undisputed Truth
Stax (Strings) - Madlib
Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing - Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrell
I Could Be Cruel - The Slender Means
Martha My Dear - The Beatles
Wraith Pinned to the Mist & Other Games - Of Montreal
A Minha Meinina - Os Mutantes
It Ain't What You Do It's the Way That You Do It - Fun Boy Three w/ Bananarama
Don't Save Us From the Flames - M83
Selina's Melodie Fountain - Serena-Maneesh
Good Times - The Easybeats

Every Thursday from 6-8pm, PST. Swing by and give it a listen!

For the Price of A Cup of Tea

Over a week ago, Hollywood lost one of its characters... Jeffry was a bartender at the Burgundy Room, one of my DJ haunts. He suddenly fell very ill and died over a very short period. When one suddenly falls ill in this country and has no health insurance, that generally equates to really insane hospital bills for the family... and this case is no different. The Dragonfly will also be donating a portion of their bar take to Jeffry's family to help pay that cost, so head on down and have a drink! For Jeffry!

The Dragonfly, tonight, around 9ish, in Hollywood. Be there and be square.

(ps: I promise not to leave you all again for over a month, ok?)

Holding Out For A Hero

A wonderful update on my friend Dax!

Subtle's Rebuilding Year
Keyboardist Dax Pierson is partially paralyzed but fully determined to keep his avant-garde pop sextet both technologically and emotionally adept.
By Rob Harvilla

Def Leppard: Majestic English hair-metal titans offering robustly shrieked odes to woe and libido. Subtle: Panoramic Oaklandish avant-pop weirdos offering cryptically rapped odes to (just guessing here) woe and libido."

And never the twain should've met. But a pair of horrific car accidents has linked the two in terrible tragedy and (just hoping here) glorious, improbable, and technologically aided recovery and rebirth.

Rick Allen: Def Leppard drummer who lost an arm in a hideous New Year's Eve 1984 Corvette wreck, but, aided by a Tron-caliber space-age drum kit, has fully recovered and kept (robotically precise) time on five Def Lep albums since, including 1987's mighty Hysteria.

Dax Pierson: Subtle keyboardist paralyzed from the chest down in a February '05 tour van wreck, but, aided by a Matrix-caliber fleet of computer equipment, appears well on the (dauntingly long) road to recovery and will valiantly appear on every Subtle album to come, including this summer's quite possibly mighty for hero: for fool.

Rick, of course, has gradually lapsed into a mire of corny balladry and domestic violence; Dax is on a tougher but purer path. Journeying to Slim's in SF on a recent Friday night for Subtle's first show in a great while, it's a bummer that the crowd's dreams of a Triumphant Dax Sighting — would he descend from the ceiling in a pink wheelchair, or wheelie gleefully down the length of the bar? — go unfulfilled, but the band's reinvigorated intensity suggests its ailing comrade has much of the same.

"Dax is back," crows Subtle frontman Adam "Doseone" Drucker — the most prominent name/voice in the East Bay experimental hip-hop Anticon crew — from the back of the house as the night begins with a solo set from his bandmate, Jel. "Motherfuckin' machines," the rapper and drum programming maestro laments with a laugh as his gear momentarily craps out, while Doseone raves about the way those same machines have turned Dax into a high-tech force on wheels. Though limited to shoulder and biceps movement, he's making the most of it with a cadre of braces, computer mouses, and production software like GarageBand. He also has taken up beatboxing.

"He's really lucky," Doseone admits. "You frown on technology, but when you see Dax, you're like, 'Holy shit.'"

A full recovery is not guaranteed but not completely improbable — the Official Subtle Anecdote for 2006 recounts a recent night in the studio when, listening to playback of for hero: for fool material, Dax announced that, for the first time since the accident, he'd moved his finger. Just then. "He started to move his thumb," Doseone reiterates. "There's always hope, man."

In the interim, though, there's years of arduous therapy and, despite a continual outpouring of public support (especially flowing from Dax's day job at Berkeley's Amoeba Music), plenty of financial strife to contend with. "One million dollars will get spent," Dose says, between the tech and constantly necessary 'round-the-clock attendants. His triumphant recovery and rebirth has begun, but don't expect to see Dax onstage anytime soon.

His five Subtle bandmates, however, are back on tour and in unsubtle, tremendous form. First, after Jel's set, comes Fog, aka Minnesota weirdo Andrew Broder, best known for warped bedroom hip-hop laments. Andrew is frequently amazing and invariably bizarre — he dedicates a tune to Dax and then delicately croons the opening line: You know what they say/About doing laundry on your birthday. Profound.

Subtle itself is even more harsh, bizarre, and menacingly delicate, even without a partially paralyzed beatboxer in the mix. All five dudes — mostly manning live drums, a drum machine, cello, flute/sax, and Dose's vox and keyboard action, respectively — are clad in blood-red outfits, with Dose additionally wearing some sort of black-and-white-striped mink stole/bath towel he dramatically flings off within two minutes.

The sound itself is dense, apocalyptic, and occasionally quite beautiful, when a cello or flute line can rise above and sharply contrast with the snare- and keyboard-banging cacophony. Dose, meanwhile, unleashes a torrent of nasal, rapid-fire, well-nigh-inscrutable verbiage — he's the only guy who earnestly describes the progress on his next album by saying "I'm a thousand words into it." As the collective inches deeper into its first full decade of existence, Anticon remains notorious for this avant-garde, robo-Beefheart surrealist sound, but Subtle seems to be sheparding its evolution, still intimidating but slightly warmer. Most of Dose's flailing stage antics and loopy banter doesn't exactly project sincerity, but he pauses once to note "We've been through some heavy shit, and we've made some beautiful things with it. I want to dedicate every last scrap of what I have left to Dax Pierson."

for hero: for fool comes out later this year, and though you can expect plenty of Anticon/Subtle's gleeful abnormality, don't be surprised it's a bit more reflective and emotive as well. "No matter how aligned you are, you can always be realigned," Doseone explains. And no matter how broken you are, there's always the possibility that a combination of love, science, and willpower can fix you. —


illustration by Norman Dog


From eastbayexpress.com
Originally published by East Bay Express 2006-04-19
©2005 New Times, Inc. All rights reserved.

Dicky Ducks Out... Involuntarily

Indie 103 is a radio station in LA that makes it usually safe for me to listen to radio in LA. Dicky Barrett, the morning show host, recently left the station... supposedly because he was working full time on his other gig as announcer for the Jimmy Kimmell show or soemthing. I'm not a fan of morning yap-yap shows, nor was I a fan of Dicky's band - the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, but I really did enjoy Dicky and his pals and their intelligent, bawdy humor and rockin' good tunes.

So now the story is Dicky got fired for talking politics. Not just politics, but abortion. Here are some choice bits from his press release:

DICKY BARRETT FIRED

LA'S INDIE 103.1 PULLS HIM
AND HIS MIGHTY MORNING SHOW FROM THE AIRWAVES

The station was built to fuck with KROQ (Infinity) by people from KISS-FM (Clear Channel); it was just supposed to be a short lived pain in the ass that that took away a few ratings points, and talked some shit about KROQ. Inadvertently (and you can credit Steve Jones and the other celebrity DJ's) it became good, and got a lot of national attention, and credible press (''the coolest station in America'' rolling stone etc. ) At that point, the FCC said Clear Channel who operated Indie 103.1 out of the Entravision offices could no longer do so. All business ties on paper were severed. It became a full Entravision property... But the hard right leaning Clear Channel program director and station manager (along with a lot of the behind the scenes technical employees) were already firmly in place.

It is in Clear Channel's best interest that Indie 103.1 exists - the PD, Michael Steele (who brags about ''breaking Britney Spears'') and the station manager, Dawn Girocco (a long time radio sales woman) are believing their own hype and considering themselves radio geniuses who masterminded the Indie 103.1 phenomenon, so it's now time to implicate their superior ''radio wisdom'' and conventional ''radio strategy'': #1) Morning shows need to be musically formatted and the music needs to be heavily rotated - #2) All guests must be approved by Michael Steele (Dawn Girocco really, she's Dick Cheney, Steele's George Bush) ''no guests controversial to soccer moms listening in the a.m.'' There were other things that were more annoying, then actually detrimental to the show... ''say the time, and call letters till your blue in the face''

I reluctantly, and unhappily against my better judgment, went along with all this for about two weeks, hoping they would come to their senses. During this time, they brought in a longtime radio guru, to consult (he also worked at one point for Clear Channel). His assessment was the show was ''really good'' and I was a ''legitimate talent and a potential radio star." Not the information these people wanted me to have. When I made an on a r remark about not liking the new overplayed Morrissey track, I was marched into the President of Entravisions' office (Jeff Lieberman, a fan of Mighty Morning show. In front of me, Jeff told Dawn he was not prepared to ''strip Dicky of his opinion,'' she was obviously and visibly embarrassed. Then he asked her if she gave me the book about morning radio that he gave her to give to me... ''no, it's at home'' she said. ''Why the hell, is it there?'' he asked, she looked humiliated.

This was the beginning of the end for me, and the writing was most likely on the wall. Two weeks after that I had a substantial, unauthorized, pro-choice conversation on the air with a South Dakota disc jockey and a few callers, the straw that broke the camels back. This is not the direction supporters of the current administration want the station going in.

I was fired that day.

I loved doing the show and loved the people who loved it.

Thank you,
Dicky


Check this out for more dirt. Tragic.

Donovan Dissed

My roommate works at the Roxy, an old famous club on the Sunset Strip. I never go to the Sunset Strip. All the clubs cost to much to get into, almost always have shitty bands, require some sort of drink minimum, and you generally have to pay a whole lot to even park in the vicinity. So I never go. Besides, the people who hang out there are weird.

Anyway, my roommate works at the Roxy. Currently the club is hosting a run of the musical, "Hedwig & the Angry Inch" starring Donovan Leitch. A couple nights ago, the club hosted a "celebrity" night so that semi-famous people could see the play without being bothered by non semi-famous people. In other words, it was a private party for Donovan and his pals. My roommate opted not to work that night, but had this gossip to report:

"I guess I didn't miss a whole lot at Hedwig last night. Jackie said that Paris Hilton was there, was on her sidekick half the night and then left. And a lot of B list celebs were there and talking really loudly at the bar..to the point that Donovan said "I must be missing a good party back there" ... how rude. I swear it's those b and c list ones that are the worst. I would have liked to seen Scott Weiland and Mark McGrath who were there.. and Juliette Lewis and the boyfriend from Mean Girls was there too.. oh and Nicky Hilton and her man..but I don't care about them. But overall, no one terribly exciting."

I Got the Music In Me

So last week I went to SXSW. I saw lots and lots and lots of bands. I wish I could have seen more! I've been wanting to leave some notes on the shows I saw here, but alas... I'm a very, very busy girl these days. But never fear! My memories are still here...

Bluebottle Kiss - a band out of Australia who were scheduled to play with the Twilight Singers on Saturday the 11th at a little club in Glendale called the Scene, but didn't make it because of mechanical issues with their plane. They were really bummed, because they LOVE Greg Dulli. In Oz, they have 5 albums out and an 11 year career which has earned them much praise and recognition, but no one knows shit about them here. Well, they're good, especially if you like that dark, twangy somewhat threatening style of Aussie rock. Which I do. And the singer is cute. Bonus! (Nick Cave & Triffids fans, check 'em out.)

The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Sorta like Ministry "Burning Inside" era. I'm sort of done with that, but a bunch of black haired girls with lip rings were not.

The Rakes - BY FAR, the funnest show I saw. I Heart Nerds. These guys were BIG nerds. Skinny as a rail (or rather, rakes) all of 'em, in preppy clothes with that oh-so-British humor, they put on a great show with lots of energy and personality. The music sounded great and they were tight tight tight.


Echo & the Bunnymen - Ian McCullogh sounds great even when he's rambling nonsense, doesn't he? "Killing Moon" performed in a heavy drizzle was wonderful cinematically. My hair did suffer, though.

The Go! Team - She is one little bouncy girl. Not all the songs translate so well, but "Ladyflash" was wonderful. Got to check them out at the wonderful Waterloo Records, which was a mini dance party USA that afternoon.

Metric - She thinks she's all that, but she's not.

Elefant - That lead singer is disturbingly hot. Turns out he's also suave. When I told him he looked alot like my little brother, he immediately threw his arms out and said, "Sister!" and kissed both my cheeks, Euro-style. It was almost creepy. Ole Diego had broken his foot earlier in the week falling off a stage in Philly, but still put on a great show. Very brooding and engaging.

DeVotchka - This show was absolutely magical... They played outside on a patio, a guitar, drums (sometimes), horns, and a tuba coverd in red lights. The stage was built around a tree, which could probably cause some interference for most bands but lent itself to the mystique of this one, which sounds like a spaghetti western in Russia with a Thom Yorke-ish vocalist singing in falsetto half the time. It was like gypsy indie music, and brought to life under the stars in the desert of Texas was absolutely the way to see it.


Translator - Yea, that band from the 80's that sang "Everywhere That I'm Not." THEY ROCKED! Seriously. They really rocked. I know the lead singer, and he was kind enough to dedicate "Necessary Spinning" to me before I had to bolt to the next show...

Twilight Singers - I ran over from one show to get in line for this one, and wouldn't you know it, THIS WAS THE ONLY LINE I WAITED IN ALL WEEKEND. As I'm lucky enough to consider Mr. Dulli to be a dear friend, it was pretty ironic that many of the songs I've had the fortunate opportunity to listen to while sitting on his couch I now had to enjoy blasting out of the windows of a bar. The stage was set up against the street, with windows open wide so many fans watched the band from behind, occasionally giving drummer Bobby MacIntyre a hand when his cymbals would tip off the stage. I got in for the last 20 minutes of the set, and what a great 20 minutes it was!

Magnet - It's just one guy. With a lap steel guitar with a whole lot of effects pedals. And it was dreamy and beautiful and absolutely mesmerizing...

Earlimart - More dreamy pop, tons of the new stuff, catchy and rockin' and fun.

The Elected - Really surprised me, as I'm not so into this band. They rocked it hard though, and put on a great show, which won me over. And Blake played this neat guitar that kinda looked like an ice cream cone.

Twilight Singers (yea, again) - The Fader Party at the Levi's Trading Post, to which I almost didn't get in because of a list snafu, but I got in. This time, I got to be upfront and center as the Twilight Singers let loose about a half hour of sultry rock and thoroughly wowed the crowd. Those boys know how to work it, that's for damn sure! (Afterwards, we all wandered off to watch some basketball at Louie's - March Madness, yo!)



Mary Lou Lord - She traditionally busks at 6th and Congress every year, something she used to do with Elliott Smith and continues to do on her own. There was some concern as to her voice (she suffers from a degenerative vocal chord condition) but it sounded great and she seemed to have a handle on it; not once did she involuntarily go mute. She was sweet the whole time.

Rogue Wave - Beautiful, dreamy pop. How do they translate it live so well?

The Subways - I didn't want to like them, but I did. They had a lot of charm and presence, and put on a great live act. It's easy to get into a band when they are so excited about what they are doing, as these kids certainly were.

Snow Patrol - an acoustic show, which just made their songs that much more dreamy.

The Morning 40 Federation - a buncha sleazy drunks doing jazzy burlesque from N'Awlins; it just made me want to hang out in a strip bar and do shots. Rock on!

The Stills - The cute one didn't sing enough.

Towers of London - I could not figure out if these guys were kidding or not (but I think they were). The sloppy snotty bubblegum punk of Generation X mixed with the bravado and strut of early Motley Crue, lots of crowd taunting and a hot hot HOT guitar player (if you were into Nikki Sixx before he died that one time)... Well, I found myself banging my head (sorta, if occasionally to avoid the water being spit offstage by the singer) and enjoying myself immensely.

Lady Sovereign - She was sassy as hell. Some of her new stuff was great, some of it was a bit hokey... so we'll see what she & Jay-Z come up with.

The Bats - The Bats! The motherfuckin' Bats! I saw them back in '93 (and I guess that was the last time they were in the States) and they sounded just as great this time. Surging yet wistful pop, the Bats remain one of the most distinctive of the late 80's / early 90's indie pop and a standout in that era's Flying Nun New Zealand invasion. They did "Block of Wood!" They did "Boogey Man!" They ended with "North By North!" I didn't think anything could make me bounce up and down on my weary feet at 2am on the last night of SXSW in the rain, but the Bats did.

I guess the only other thing potentially of note was that we saw Wayne of the Flaming Lips rolling down 6th Street in his big plastic bubble, which got people all excited. But come on, that was SO 2004...

Lonestar

I just got back from South By Southwest. I'm really, really tired. And it was humid, which is bad for the hair - you know what I'm sayin? But it was a great time, and here are the bands I saw (mostly all of the set, even!):

Bluebottle Kiss
The Rinse
The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
The Rakes
Echo & the Bunnymen
Eleni Mandell
Scott Kempner
Susan Marshall
Tim Easton
The Go! Team
Metric
Elefant
DeVotchka
Translator
Twilight Singers
Dengue Fever
Illinois
Silversun Pickups
The Grates
Magnet
Earlimart
The Elected
The Duke Spirit
Twilight Singers (yea, again)
Mary Lou Lord
Mad-lib
Rogue Wave
Carina Round
Vega 4
Amusement Parks on Fire
The Subways
Nine Black Alps
Snow Patrol
The Morning 40 Federation
The Stills
Towers of London
Lady Sovereign
The Bats

I think that's everything. Details later.

Bitch Bitch Moan Moan

A list of new rules for 2006. By George Carlin. Cracks me up every time... Enjoy!

****************************************************

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason
you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly
like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is
doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're
a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a
bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect
it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde
teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these
kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're
a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a
grown man , they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of
this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry,
but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour
some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned
pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the
bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be
in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the SocialSecurity
crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.
If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low
fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light
ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ... ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no,
I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed
to be ringing me up is standing there eating myAlmond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make
you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to
"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were
praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly
sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because
watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting.
What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's
called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll
go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so
we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason
something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't
good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't
gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

Lazy Line Painter Jane

Okay, shaggy haired bisexuals, one of your heroes will be hanging out amongst you next Monday night.

Isobel Campbell, formerly the "Belle" of Belle & Sebastian and the dainty voice behind the shimmery Gentle Waves, is having her record release party at the now infamous Cha Cha Lounge in Silverlake.

Her new album, Ballad of the Broken Seas, is a collaborative effort between her and Mark Lanegan, he of the whisky graveled voice (frontman to the Screaming Trees, guest frontman for Queens of the Stone Age, accomplished solo artist, and a heavily tattoed guy I once freaked out accidentally in an airport in New Jersey). Inspired by Nancy & Lee, Isobel approached Mark through his label before finally meeting him in her hometown of Glasgow at a QOTSA show, and he threw out the idea of working together. Isobel had a new excuse for writing some songs from a man's point of view, because she had found a new voice for them. (Anyone familiar with Belle & Sebastian's gender skewed pop tunes shouldn't be too surprised by this anyway.)

The two released a teaser EP a couple of months ago, featuring their wicked version of the Hank William's classic, "Ramblin' Man" as well as a few originals, all sort of reflecting a coutry psychedelia with a wistful edge... Isobel (and I'm guessing Mark will have to show up) is also playing the Troubador on Tuesday night. But to get all up close and personal, and hear the whole CD, hit the Cha Cha on Monday. She'll be there. She tried to set it up at the Burgundy Room first, and called herself to do so... but the owner let her know his place was just gonna be too small for the crowd she'd probably bring in. Why not hit Silverlake?

Monday March 6th, 8pm (that's the rumored start time - call the bar the day of to be certain)
The Cha Cha Lounge
2375 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039
(323) 660-7595

Everybody Get Dirrrty

Wow - some of you actually want to know what happened next. Well...

A couple days after the wild night of go-go dancing, I got a phone call from Cowboy Todd. The message went something like this: "Hey sexy lady, sexy Mo... It's Todd, the cowboy you met at Rimjob the other night. I was just on my way to the gym to work on my thighs, calves and ass and I thought I'd give you a call and tell you how sexy you are, sexy lady! Hope you're having a great day, and give me a call back."

Really. That's what he said. I played the message for my roommate and she would say "Hey, sexy lady!" everytime I walked down the hallway for the rest of the weekend.

The next day he called again. "Hey, sexy Mo! It's Todd calling. I was just off to crack out my abs so I thought I'd call and say hi. I'm working at a place called Fubar's tonight, so try to come by if you can."

Yes, he said the phrase, "Crack out my abs."

I told a friend of mine about this. "Fubar's?" she said. "That's a total scenester gay place. I feel invisible when I go there." So I called Cowboy Todd back. "Hey, what's up?" "Oh, hi! What's goin' on?" Me: "You're working at Fubar's tonight? I'll try to grab some friends and cruise out. It's cool if girls come, right?" "Oh, totally. It's my last night for a while - I wrecked my car and I'm going to New York for a couple days and then to Florida to visit my family for my birthday because I didn't see them at Christmas." Me: " When's your birthday?" Todd: "February11th." Me: "Hey, that's the same as my baby brother!" Todd: "Wow, I've never known anyone born on my birthday!" Me: "Well, you still don't, you don't know my brother. But you can say you do if you want. Hey, I'm at work - I'll try to swing by tonight." "Cool - I'll get you all a free drink!" My friend & I tried to wrangle up a boy posse, but everyone had plans.

I haven't spoken to him since, but that doesn't mean I haven't heard from ole Cowboy Todd.

That Sunday, before he left town, he gave me a call detailing his visit to his doctor's office to collect his medicine for his hyperactivity, and to let me know he was bartending (shirtless!) at Skin Sundays, a gay day at Highland Grounds - a bar/cafe I thought was a singer/songwriter type place. Turns out it usually is, except for Skin Sundays.

The night of the Grammys as I drove to the BFF's house, I was treated to something special. A picture. On my cell phone. Of Cowboy Todd, shirtless, flexing with his arms behind his head, in front of a fridge covered in colorful alphabet magnets. This almost made me crash my car (DON'T CHECK YOUR TEXTS WHILE DRIVING - DUH!). I showed it to BFF, who started laughing immediately, but said, "Come on, he's hot! I can't believe you don't want to hook up with him." "What? Ick! He's all flexy and stuff!" "Well," BFF retorted, "I think you've been staring at (insert name of slightly overweight-chainsmoking-brilliant musician that I've been involved with for months here) flabby ass for too long and could use a little something different." "Oh," I said in my defense, "You know that if this guy had been calling me up and telling me jokes instead of his gym schedule that I'd be all over it. Really." "Okay, okay..." BFF gave up.

"So what do I do? Should I write back?" "Didn't he say he was in Florida with his parents?" "Yea." "Well, write back: Wow, your mom is a great photographer!" So that's what I did. My BFF is so clever, isn't he?

A few hours later (midnightish my time, so 3amish in Florida), I get a text back. "Can you send me a picture? It gets lonely in Florida..." Then another: "A dirty picture." (Of course.) Then another: "I'll send you one of me." So I turned off my phone. The next morning once I turned it back on, he had texted: "Give me a call or text when you have a chance." So I responded: "Hey, I don't just send out pictures to people I don't know. Have a good vacation." And he texted back: "Sorry, seemed like a good idea at the time."

Was this the end of it? NO!

Although nothing has been as entertaining as the initial messages, I have received a picture of him in bed gazing longingly at the camera, looking cutesy holding a bunch of flowers in front of his face (Valentine's Day), and one of him just looking into the camera on the place. Occasional messages about where he's working, will I meet him & his friends for dinner, bring lots of gay friends, etc... If I ever do meet up with this guy, it's purely because I want to ask him:

1. Are you gay?
2. Okay then, you must be bi...
3. Do you keep pictures of yourself on your phone to just send out to all the phone numbers you've collected at your various gigs?
4. Who takes these pictures of you?
5. What do you want to be: model or actor?
6. Why do you go-go dance at all these gay places if you aren't totally gay?
7. Are you a total gigolo or what?
8. How many drugs do you take?


I think that's the bulk of it. A friend of mine once wisely said never date a guy who waxes more places than you do. I tend to go for the ones that make me laugh - and if they happen to have six pack abs, then that's just lucky.

Beauty & the Beat

A couple Tuesdays ago, I met a guy at a place called Rimjob.

Yuck! Ew! What?

Come on, it was a gay bar. The gay bars always are allowed to have the best names, you know. And the best names for drinks, too.

I met 4 of my best gay friends there. They had told me about the place, "It's dirty, DIRRRRTY!" Loads of go-go dancers, all greased up and undressed, a functioning shower stall for a little exhibition, the occasional dirty mattress for dancers to romp on. Porn being played on the TVs with "Boys Gone Wild" videos on the pull down screens. The crowd was great: very friendly, regular guys - not overly pumped up and beautiful like in West Hollywood where they all look like Abercrombie & Bitch models. Just normal cute and not so cute, buff and not so buff, nice folks.

Early on, it was announced that I was going to provide some of the evening's entertainment. "One of the dancers is straight," announced K. "And he's hot. And when a girl gives him a dollar, he makes out with her." K then handed me a dollar. "He's gonna love making out with you!"

"Oh God!" I said. "I'm not going to make out with a stripper!"

"Oh, but he's hot!" replied K. "You must. You will."

The dancers slowly started gathering around the club. The hot, straight one emerged shirtless, in camouflage pants which were sort of draped around his ass. It was my first experience with gay male dancers (that I can remember, anyway) and there was a lot of that sort of ass hanging out business, which makes sense. Guys in their underwear, pushing it halfway down their ass.

Anyway, my friend S gives my arm a tug and goes, "Oh, check out that guy. He's definitely the hottest one in the place!" He was pointing out a guy in a cowboy hat, boots, and black underwear. The guy was pretty cute, and he was chewing gum like there was no tomorrow, so we figured he was probably pretty coked out too. But S was just fascinated, "He is soooo hot. Maybe he's straight? Maybe we could get a threesome going?" "Ugh! I couldn't! Jeez!" I gagged. "He knows we're checking him out, he keeps looking at us," S said. I wasn't noticing this, but I was kinda overloading on the whole scene.

But K still had his eyes on the original prize. "Here's another dollar, Mo, go talk to the straight one. Go!" Instead, we got another drink. On the way over, we passed the running shower, up on a table, where two guys were almost having sex. Then we went outside to get away from the crowd which had swelled up inside the place.

My BFF and I were sitting on a couple of stools and our friends were circled in front of us, and we were all chatting. We realized we had a pretty primo spot, as behind us was the entryway to the dancers' dressing area, so they were constantly passing behind us. We could get as great a look as we wanted. S and I were talking, when he spotted Brokeback: "He's right over there and he's looking at us."

Turned out, he was looking at me.

The Cowboy went right through the crowd, cut through my friends, and right up to me. "Hi, I'm Todd. What's your name?" "Mo. Todd, huh? I had a stalker named Todd once. You're not a stalker, are you Todd?" "Not unless you're into that." "Well, I wasn't. So, are you making any money tonight?" (I don't know... what do you talk to strippers about?) "Oh yea," he gushed. "It's a blast. I'm having a great time. I noticed you in the crowd and wanted to talk to you because you're so sexy." "Oh?" I responded. "Are you straight then?" "Oh, well," he stammered. "Ok, but you have to get back to work." We rambled aimlessly a few more moments, and then he went back into the dressing room.

In the meantime, BFF had attracted a go-go dancer of his own. Once that guy left, K said, "Hello, stripper magnets! What's up?" S turned to me and said, "You HAVE to hook up with that guy! For me! For our sakes!" Then the Cowboy re-emerged in his (lack of) costume and goosed me from behind. I turned around and poked his chest. It was oiled up. "Ew!" I yelped. "You're all greasy! Don't get that on my jacket!" "Oh, I wasn't going to lean into you... Are you going to stick around for a while? Watch me dance?" "Yes, we'll be here."

The next round of conversation went a little like this. Cowboy Todd: "So, are you single? Are you dating someone?" Me: "No, I'm waaay single. And waaaaay older than you, too." Todd: "That's hot. I like older women. How old are you?" Me: "How old are you?" Todd: "Almost 31." Me: "Yea, I'm way older than you." (I was also taking into account that he was totally lying, and most likely 23 or 24.)

He went back to his post to earn more crotch cash, and my friends and I debated what I was supposed to do next. S said, "Well, if you don't give him your number, I will!" BFF said, "You have to go out with him. You dating a bimbo is like me dating a smart guy!" true, that. But I was confused, if he was working in a gay bar, and totally workin' it too, then why was he hitting on the fag hag? "Well," BFF replied, "If he seems like he's straight, that makes him more of a challenge. It's kinda hot." Oohhh...

So what did I do? I gave him my cell number. And that is a story for another day...

Colin Callin'...

Okay, so I saw the Colin Farrell sex tape.

Well, not all of it, just a condensed version. And I took away two things from it: all those rumors about Colin's package may have some merit after all (but he's a little guy, so it may also be all about the angling), and EVERYBODY looks hilarious when they are having sex.

And from what I saw, he was very, very chatty. There were moments where his Irish brogue made it a bit tough to decipher, but moments where it was crystal clear.

"Holy fuck, man. Breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner, right here. I'm not even fucking joking." One guess as to what he was...ummm...eating. But he has to interrupt to throw that one out there? Hot. If somebody was working on me and started yammering like that, I'd have to tell him to shut up, cuz it ain't gonna lick itself, you know?

"Holy shit, I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you, man." No, this was not a quote from his memorable performance as Alexander the Great in a heated exchange with boy toy Jared Leto. In case you forgot, Colin was hooked up with Nicole Narain, a Playboy playmate. Gender slang means nothing to Mr. Farrell - hell, I call girls "Dude" all the time!

"You're just like...it's like you're going fishing for fucking pubes, man. You're just catching every fucking pube I have." Okay, everybody turned on yet?

"Whatever princess wants, princess fucking gets, let me tell you." Aw, it's not like ole Colin doesn't care.

(Special thanks to Shrimpjaw for making the painstaking effort to transcribe the whole damn thing...)

A Little Help For My Friends

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