Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Art Fags of the World, Unite!

If you haven't had a phase in your life where you dressed entirely in black, studied German literature, only saw foreign films (preferably in black and white), danced to Kraftwerk (and their ilk) exclusively, or dabbled in homosexuality... then the following probably won't be of interest to you.

Otherwise, read on, Dieters!


Free concert and screening in Trafalgar Square
Sunday 12 September, 8.30pm (time tbc)

In an extraordinary encounter, the Pet Shop Boys will perform live their new soundtrack to a screening of Sergei Eisenstein's magisterial film Battleship Potemkin, in Trafalgar Square, on the evening of September 12, as one of the highlights in the Trafalgar Square Summer 2004 Programme.

Staged in the home of British political dissent, this event combines past and present, music, performance and film, art and politics, London and Europe, into a free event for the people of London.

At the heart of the event is the principle of collaboration - the event has been produced by the ICA which since its beginnings has wanted to mix up the arts with each other and the wider culture. And, on September 12, the Pet Shop Boys will collaborate with the 26 strong Dresden Sinfoniker and with Simon McBurney of Complicité, who will stage the event.

Eisenstein's 1925 film is one of the acknowledged masterpieces of twentieth century culture - a cinematically revolutionary account of a revolt by sailors in 1904. It has clearly been a major influence on film-makers but has also shaped the work of visual artists: Francis Bacon spoke of being haunted by the screaming mouth in the film and using that inspiration in his own work.

In a work of extraordinary re-imagining, the Pet Shop Boys have written a soundtrack that gives the film a new life for Britain in 2004 - and takes account of the powerful symbolism of Trafalgar Square, a place simultaneously of dissent and celebration. For the Pet Shop Boys, one the great English groups of the last twenty years, this soundtrack gathers together their past work and moves it on in unexpected ways. Best known for their witty, sensuous and powerful songs of urban life, and for their experimental work with filmmakers and artists of all sorts, this soundtrack confirms their status as innovators - it's a characteristic leap into the unknown.

Philip Dodd, ICA Director: "The ICA has always been, on principle, an untidy place - mixing art forms and letting the wider culture and politics into all of its activities - the Pet Shop Boys/Battleship Potemkin event honours that untidiness. I'm deeply grateful to the Pet Shop Boys and to all the event's collaborators for their immediate recognition that Trafalgar Square is THE place for re-imagining the past in terms of the needs of the present"

Pet Shop Boys Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe: "It's wonderful to be given the opportunity to write a complete soundtrack to this classic film and then to perform it as a free concert in the heart of London. The music is a combination of electronics and strings and, although mainly instrumental, includes three new songs."

The orchestrations are by the acclaimed young German composer Torsten Rasch whose work, "Mein Herz Brennt", based on the music of the rock band Rammstein, received a triumphant reception at its premiere last autumn and has since become a best-selling CD in Germany and the USA.

When there is so much talk of Europe, this event will truly be European - stretching from Russia, through Dresden to London.

Pet Shop Boys and Battleship Potemkin is one of more than twenty events being organised as part of the Trafalgar Square Summer 2004 programme. It is the fourth annual programme of free events organised by the Mayor of London - aimed at Londoners and visitors to the capital. Following the square's award-winning refurbishment, the 2003 programme attracted over 100,000 people.

Monday, June 28, 2004

What's Your Function?

A nice little email from someone needing some info reminded me that it's getting closer to Sunset Junction time. What is Sunset Junction? A wonderful street fair held in Los Angeles every year, with tons of food and scores of great bands. It also just so happens to a block away from my house - you can see the ferris wheel from my living room windows.

It's a great time to visit LA. Hot as hell, but worth it for the music. Some of the bands playing this year include On the Speakers (rising from the ashes of the late, great Creeper Lagoon), The Like, The Donnas, The Vacation, Camper Van Beethoven, X, Autolux (rising from the ashes of the late, great Failure), Ben Kweller, and IMA Robot. And they still ain't done with that lineup.

It's happening August 21st and 22nd. Margaritas at my house!

Friday, June 25, 2004

Who's Zoomin' Who?

Politics rules. Watch this. And vote Bush out of office. Thank you very much.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

It's Shite Being Scottish!

Well, I don't know if that's actually true... it's just one of the few lines I can remember from Trainspotting. That's one of my favorite movies, but I'm lousy about quoting stuff.

I love the Loch Ness Monster. You got your Bigfoot, your UFOs, your Chupacabra and other unexplained phenoms... but I like me a good old fashioned dinosaur cruising around in a murky loch in Scotland. It turns out that there's this movie coming out soon called Incident at Loch Ness. Directed by Zak Penn, it features filmmaker Werner Herzog as he leads an expedition to Loch Ness to track down the famous monster. He calls his documentary Enigma of Loch Ness, which is a play on one of his former films. Penn is making a documentary of the making of the documentary. You see where this is going?

"Is it documentary, mockumentary, science fiction or comedy? Decide for yourself, but whatever it is, it's one of the funniest films in the festival." This is how it is described in the program for the Seattle Film Festival.

And like all films with spooky subject matter, there is a mystery surrounding this one. I guess. Like the bizarre happenings on the set of The Exorcist or the sudden deaths of various cast members of Poltergeist, a fired crew member of Loch Ness claims that two members of the crew were actually killed by Nessie during the filming of this mockumentary, and that the American filmmakers don't care.

Well, if Nessie did indeed kill a couple folks during the filming... she's a plesiosaur for chrissakes! She probably got hungry or something.

But really, Jeff Goldblum is in this film too. How seriously are you supposed to take it?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

On the Ground Like A Wild Potato

Afraid that nobody around here
Understands my potato
I think I'm only a spud boy
Looking for a real tomato


I love potatoes. A lot. So much that the word "spud" is incorporated into my phone number somehow.

While I was growing up, I hung out with a bunch of boys. They loved Devo, the B52s, and called themselves the Spuds. I infiltrated this nerd gang proudly. We still hang out. We still call ourselves the Spuds. (However, we neglected to ever get jackets made or anything.)

One of us has always had the Spud phone number.

In my home town, there was a place I loved to eat called the Potato Shack. In Berkeley, it was the Spud Brothers. Yummy baked potatoes smothered in pesto or alfredo sauce with broccoli or mozzarella... Man, I loved that place.

There is now going to be a low carb spud. This to me is like diet Mountain Dew; completely sacrilegious.

Enjoy your diet potato, carb counters! I will continue to heap mine with cheese and bacon and mushrooms and butter and laugh at you while enjoying my tasty treat. Never will french fries or hash browns or tater tots disappear from my life!

And I won't gain a pound. It's all in your minds, people.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Fade To Black

I finally got to see the Metallica documentary last night, Some Kind of Monster, after my friend Jeff (thanks, Dude!) had been trying to get me to go for months. Yes, it's not being released in LA till July 16th, but I'm just that lucky. And Jeff happens to be a very nice guy connected with the making of that film.

It was screened at the LA Film Festival, and showed at the Ford Ampitheatre - an outdoor venue tucked into the Hollywood Hills. My pal & I were lucky enough to also score VIP seating if we wanted it: this means we sat next to the likes of Robin Tunney & Annabelle Gish. Ben Stiller was kind enough to be there too, being congratulated on the #1 status of his new flick, Dodgeball. I heard no "hit him in the nuts" type jokes, thank God. Alison Anders was there too (Gas, Food, & Lodging, Mi Vida Loca) and I kept hoping she'd bring one of my two favorite Johns with her - either Taylor or Doe - since she directed them both in Sugartown and I thought it might be their thing. Maybe? Please?

Oh, the movie? I dug it. Despite the fact that it was nearly three hours of therapy. It made me either want to move back to the Bay Area or get a tattoo, and since I'm not moving again anytime soon - get those needles ready! If you've ever known anyone in a band, you understand what an intense relationship it can be -like being married, or so I've been told. You feel it on this one. The band is practically imploding over the course of the film, yet you watch it start to come back together and are totally rooting for the good guys at the end. And I kinda wanted to kick the therapist in the ass a few times; he seemed to be trying to take over. Brian Wilson, anyone? Anyway, if you want to read a more in depth review by an actual old school metal dude, check out Chuck Klosterman's piece in the New York Times.

The movie was intro'd like this: "Do you like movies?" "YEA!" "Do you like Metallica?" "YEA!" "Have you ever been in therapy?" "YEA! "Well, you're gonna love this movie!"

Go, Hollywood!

Just One of Those Things

I'm just coming across funny thing after funny thing this morning... Well, to me, that is.

For instance: I just love that this guy in San Luis Obispo got so mad about getting on a jury, that instead of trying to weasel his way out like the rest of us - he flipped off the court and got arrested himself. That's rock and roll.

Evidently, that mystical Rasputin of Russia who simply wouldn't die kept all the magic in his pants... and his mojo is still risin'! And it's on display in an erotica museum back in the former USSR! That's just nasty, actually.

Our dear old Ronnie may have passed on, but his resurrected zombie is here and ready to campaign! Read this goofy as shit website for the latest news in Bush's camp about who he's gonna run with this year... (Read the Eat the Press section. Immediately.)

And now YOU can make Bush say anything you want! Thanks to the Decadent West for this link: pick a photo and you can put the words in Bush's mouth. As soon as you pry his foot out.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

It's What They're Playing

All of the rock and roll DJ's
Got their fingers on the world
'Cause they play the songs
That make you and me feel so good
Turn up your radios
And hear the music
On the radio...

-Cheap Trick

Every Saturday, 12-3pm. The Mo Show on Little Radio. This week?

Walk On By - Isaac Hayes
...and I'm Thinking - The Sneetches
She's So Fine - The Easybeats
Rumble - You Am I
Jerk It Out - Caesars
The Horror - RJD2
Birthday (Christmas mix w/ Jesus & Mary Chain) - Sugarcubes
Sunshine Smile - Adorable
Strawberry Letter 23 - Brothers Johnson
Your Revolution - DJ Vadim w/ Sarah Jones
Hook & Sling Meet the Funky Superfly - Sharon Jones
What A Hell'Uva Woman - Blue Ruin
Cocaine Blues - Hank Thompson
Bombshell - Mary's Danish
Charles - Scrawl
Cathedral Heat - Kristin Hersh
Tupelo - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Hush - Deep Purple
Open My Eyes - Nazz
No Matter What - Badfinger
Shelly's Boyfriend - Bonnie Hayes & the Wild Combo
Paper Crown - the Checkers
Soul Finger - Bar-Kays
Jaime - Girls Against Boys
Let This Rest - the Reputation
Tom Boy - Bettie Serveert
Hand to Phone (Cordless Mix) - Adult
Telephone Operator - Pete Shelley
Discotraxx - Ladytron
Fade to Grey - Visage
Ivo - Cocteau Twins
St. Gregory - Twilight Singers
Cold Black Preach - Barry Adamson
Too Tough to Die - Martina Topley Bird
Sporting Life - Actionslacks
One More Hour - Sleater Kinney
She's Got You = Patsy Cline
Cactus - Pixies
Scary Monsters (& Super Creeps) - Bowie
Bonn/ Basta - Trans Am
Syntax Error - Clean Prophets
Get A Grip On Yourself - Stranglers
Schon Von Hinten - Stereo Total
Bachelor Pad - Fantastic Plastic Machine
I Hear A Symphony - Diana Ross & the Supremes

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Wakka Wakka!

Okay, so I've listened to the new Pixies single, "Bam Thwok," about a hundred times today. They got all sneaky and released it on iTunes the other night, but you can find it here & there on the internet, or so I've been told. Look for a solo by Joey Santiago's dad. Yes!

In other news...

One of my favorite radio stations ever, Cincinatti's WOXY, is coming back! They were sold a few months ago and went off the air in early May. They also couldn't afford to keep up their internet presence, but things seem to be changing for the better! Here's the memo dorky fans like myself got today:

No typo. It's the real deal, y'all! 97X The Future of Rock and Roll will be returning to the Internet in a few weeks!

Kind fate has sent us two dedicated listeners with the vision and courage to step up as partners to fund the continued broadcast of 97X The Future of Rock and Roll over the Internet.

These magnanimous folks want to remain anonymous, but they feel passionately about "doing the right thing" and "doing good work," and we are the lucky recipients of their generous spirit.

Like Phoenix rising from the ashes, 97X - just as we have always loved it - will be returning soon. It will take us a few weeks to get set up for the future, but be assured that Mike and Barb and Shiv and Bryan Jay are already hard at work to bring it all back.

Keep checking woxy.com for updates ... we'll announce an air date just as soon as we know it.

Give a little shout of thanks to our "angels" - and stay tuned!

Monday, June 14, 2004

Sing Blue Silver

This happened two years ago today, so I feel the need to commemorate the event.

One of my longest lifetime goals had been achieved:


(Okay, basssist for Duran Duran for those of you who don't remember... he was only plastered on my walls for, like, 4 years.)

When it was brought to my attention that he had entered the record store where I worked, I dropped the intercom and promptly hyperventilated. Then I paced frantically back and forth, trying to figure out what to do next. My co-workers & then-boyfriend were surrounding me, trying to figure out what the hell was going on as I muttered "Ohmygodohmygod" and finally I pointed and said, "John Taylor."

Then everyone started laughing.

At this point, I realized that I couldn't do anything about the situation because I was alone at the Information Counter, responsible for all the confused souls at the store or on the phones, and I couldn't leave. I began my mantra: "Please make him come ask me a question. Please let him come ask me a question!" Then panic set in, as I began to think I was trapped and would lose the opportunity. I'm not sure what the look on my face was like, but because I had the raddest boyfriend in the world who was there and happened to sort of be my boss, he told me he'd watch the counter and that I should just go for it.

I grabbed a Sharpie and pulled out my laminated International Duran Duran Club card (of which I am member #36963) and headed down the aisle. I walked up to him and said, "Hi. I work here." He smiled and said, "Yes?" I continued, "I would never forgive myself if I didn't ask for an autograph."

Then I whipped out the card. He was flabbergasted. "Oh my God, we put those out in 1984! You carry that around with you?" "I'm very loyal," I replied, and he laughed. "How long have you been into us?" he asked. "Since 1981," I said. He signed the card: "To Mo, With love, 19 years later - John Taylor."

I thanked him and went back to my post, and my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't even pick up the phone for a good five minutes.

Can I just say, he looked HOT! Slimmed down from his last puffy TV appearance, good skin, great hair, good glasses. He shopped about an hour, and I was kicking myself for not having asked about the current Duran Duran recording (since all original members had just reunited). As he was checking out, he got stuck waiting for his friend, so I just approached him again. "I hope you don't mind and if I'm bugging you, just say so, but I was wondering how recording was going?" And he said, "If you don't talk to me right now, I'll get bored to death waiting for my friend to come out." So we chatted about recording and music and stuff. I blamed him for my current fate of dating guitar players to which he pointed out if I were truly loyal, I'd be dating bassists. It was crazy to hear him say things like "I was lunching with Simon" and "Seeing Roger after so long, it felt like only a day had passed" and much more, but I know most of you don't care about that.

So on his way out, he said, "It was nice chatting with you Mo; I'll say hi the next time I'm in." I replied that it was really nice talking with him too, and put my arm on his shoulder and said, "I can die a happy woman now." He laughed.

It turned out that his friend had left his credit card behind, and came by the next day to pick it up. The manager on duty said, "I know you were here with John Taylor yesterday and that some of the staff was talking with him; I hope he didn't mind." And the friend replied, "Oh no, he's always gracious about that. And he was very charmed by the young lady with her Duran Duran fan club card..."

Oh please, let me be wife #4!

She Started to Hate Every Nigger & Jew...

... and evidently, her X husband too!

Turns out that our lady Exene Cervenka, former frontwoman of one my favorite bands ever, X, and owner of the former Silverlake hipstore "You've Got Bad Taste," is suing her ex-hubby for more child support. Why? Because her ex-husband is Viggo Mortensen, Lord of the Rings! And Exene is now a teacher/ librarian, albeit, probably one of the freakiest and hippest teacher/ librarians to scare schoolkids today. She and Viggo were married around 1986, after she broke up with John Doe and he got married, moved to a ranch and started to grow daughters. John's had a bit of a film career also, so it's a good thing Exene didn't have any kids with him or she may have been knocking on his door for a bit more, too. The school system in California doesn't pay much these days. And I guess the endless X "reunion" shows aren't paying what they used to either.

My favorite thing about this bit of info? Her real name! Christene Edge. She's a white girl...

Saturday, June 12, 2004

To the Left of Your Dial

See me-
Hear me-
Don’t you know you can’t get near me?
You can only hope to hear me on your radio
On your radio-
You’re gonna hear me on your radio...

- Joe Jackson

Did you catch it this week? On Saturdays, I DJ at Little Radio from 12-3pm. You can always find it at littleradio.com, or - if you're in LA - you can try 87.9fm... or so I'm told.

Here's what I dragged into the station today for y'all:

Slip It In - Big Black
Trouble - Elvis Presley
Baby Got Shot - Verbena
Into You Like A Train - Psychedelic Furs
Methamphetamine Blues - Mark Lanegan
Double Dare - Bauhaus
Projects - Bailterspace
Kiasu - Celia Mancini
On the Beach - Rocket
Mr. Kicks - Oscar Brown Jr.
Chumpville - Carolyn Mark & the Roommates
Manos - Spinanes
I Don't Know - The Peels
Heaven Wasn't In the Sky - The Dagons
Launderette - Vivien Goldman
Herbsplatte - Valentin Mehler (David Holmes remix)
Kamasutra - Vampyros Lesbos soundtrack
The Frog - The Village Callers
So Nice (Summer Samba) - Astrud Gilberto
Death & the Maiden - Verlaines
Foregone Conclusions - Pedro the Lion
I've Just Seen A Face - the Beatles
Hold A Shadow Down - Steve Barton
Peach Kelli Pop - Redd Kross
Cactus Cat - Look Blue Go Purple
Seven Days - the Apollas
Sing a Simple Song - Sly & the Family Stone
Tiger - Brian Auger & the Trinity
I Can't Dance With You - the Small Faces
Thursday Girl - Black Hills
The Invitation/ Author Unknown - Jason Falkner
She Hangs Out - the Monkees
Pony Express - the Pioneers
Don't Stay Away - Phyllis Dillon
Jump in the Line - Harry Belafonte
Dumbjaw - Barkmarket
Chantilly Lace - the Big Bopper
Kasimir S. Pulaski Day - Big Black
When You Smile - Dream Syndicate
Simple Solution - Rick Stone
Rock Creek Park - Blackbyrds
Papa Was A Rolling Stone - Temptations
Domani - Twilight Singers
Pretty Boy - Mellowdrone
Moneypenny's Theme - Actionslacks
This Is Radio Clash - The Clash
Making Time - The Creation
Green Onions - Booker T. & the MGs
Think - Lyn Collins
I'm A Man - Spencer Davis Group
Jane - Poster Children
The Light Pours Out of Me - Magazine
House of Jealous Lovers - the Rapture
Bold Soul Sister - Ike & Tina Turner
Lola - the Kinks
Click Your Heels - On the Speakers
She Speeds - Straitjacket Fits
Hook in Her Head - Throwing Muses
Little Willy - the Sweet

Friday, June 11, 2004

It's All About the Little Guy

The music industry has kinda been in the crapper for a while now, right? Well, I don't really think so. All that this consolidation within the music and radio industry has simply done is to force the perhaps not-so-average-joe to work a little harder. If you can't find anything interesting on your local Clear Channel station (meaning just about ANY of them), you go to the internet. You go to see bands you may never have heard of. You try satellite or cable or internet radio.

And for those artists trying to be heard, they look for that not-so-average-joe. They put their music on the internet. They play as often as possible. They try to get their music on just about any alternative programming they can reach.

Somehow, we all find each other. In the wake of massive label consolidation (aren't there only like, three majors these days?) and radio consolidation, the little guys are having more and more luck. For example, since Warner is dropping all their interesting acts these days after the dissolution of Elektra, what lucky indie label is going to get to handle Stereolab, a recent victim? One great band on a small label can do wonders for the label and the other bands lucky enough to share that space... Just ask the folks of Berkeley's Lookout! (original home to Green Day, Rancid and the Donnas) or Omaha's Saddle Creek (Rilo Kiley, The Faint, Bright Eyes).

And now the shameless plug: some (more) friends of mine are starting a label. It's called Stereotype, and they want to reach us indie "kids" who are not so into screamo and more into lyrics and cut our teeth on the Buzzcocks and Japan and Sebadoh and Acetone, so we like it to rock or be dreamy. And they've got all that on the label. Check out the site, and give Rick Stone a listen. His voice is dreamy, and his songs are just flat out beautiful. And if you like it, come on down to their label launch party at Mr. T's in Highland Park this Saturday night. I'll be there, probably drinking more than I should. I always get into a little trouble when that Rick Stone is around!

Shameless plug part deux: Internet radio rules. Especially when someone pirates it for you! I've been mixed up in a little something called Little Radio, which steams indie rock & hip hop all the darned day, and features DJs at nights and on the weekends. I'm on Saturdays from 12-3pm, so tune in to our streaming broadcast or try 87.9FM in the east LA area if you live here. I'm bringing a box of stuff to play, and in my box is a little Kinks, RJD2, Bailterspace, Bauhaus, Ike & Tina Turner, Mellowdrone, Rocket, Phyllis Dillon, Rondelles, Big Black, Guided By Voices, and some Patsy Cline. I can't remember what else I put in there, so you'll have to tune in to find out!

Oh yea, and Little Radio does showcases on Wednesdays at Fais Do Do in LA. This Wednesday the 16th, we'll have Black Hills... led by former Freewheelers Luther Russell and Chris Joyner. It's indie in that Pete Yorn/ Matt Pond PA sort of way, and those boys are extremely talented musicians (and very cute, ladies!). Joining them for a mini set will be Sarabeth Tucek, who has done guest vocals for Smog and the Warlocks, and more who I just can't remember right now.

So are you ready to rock? Let's go!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004


Last night I saw Velvet Revolver. A friend who had received last minute free tickets called me, knowing that I would appreciate watching such a display of sleaze... and I did, my friends. I did.

Velvet Revolver consists of Guns & Roses (Slash, Duff & Matt Sorum) and Stone Temple Pilots (Scott Weiland) with a token punk guy (Dave Kushner from Wasted Youth) thrown in for cred. And they sound like Guns & Roses and STP with a token punk guy thrown in. For cred.

I also appreciate that they're keeping the firearm theme in place.

Okay, so none of you really care about the music, right? Although I will say that I've always had a weakness for Weiland's voice... and he does darned good impersonations of other singers. So real quick: they rocked like they were playing to the Coliseum. They were musically tight and having a good time, and were nice and loud. It sounded just like Guns and Roses, except with Scott Weiland singing. Which means that sometimes it sounded exactly like Guns and Roses.

Mr. Weiland came out dressed like Rob Halford (leather pants, vest, and biker hat)- it was really nice to see the gay metal contigent so well represented. He also moves like a stripper/ Mick Jagger, which means lots of snaky hip shaking. It only took three songs before all members of the band were shirtless... Well, the punk guy took about 5 songs. I believe all were wearing leather pants, except Slash - who was in torn black jeans. And his hat. Although to be fair, he only put it on at the encore and then made a big fuss over how the fans make a big fuss over the damn hat or something like that. Okay, Slash, we know it's you...

They did their Velvet Revolver stuff, threw in some Guns & Roses and ended the first encore with STP's date rape song ("Sex Type Thing" if you don't remember your early "grunge" classics). It was fun to watch the crowd during G-n-R's "It's So Easy..." when the "Fuck off" line came up, 90% of the crowd raised a middle finger in the standard "I love you" salute. Charming. There was even a bleached blonde girl bouncing around in her tank top on her boyfriend's shoulders... I kept hoping she'd flash the band, but she didn't. Damn.

And since we saw so much flesh, I must comment: Scott - eat a little something. You're looking like an Olsen twin on a bad make-up day. And how is it that heroin junkies/ former heroin junkies always have such tight little bods? Duff - I wouldn't throw ya outta bed. That's all I'm sayin'.

That was basically the show. All in all, a guilty good time. I'm okay with any band that can make a chubby guy with long frizzy hair gesticulate wildly all the lyrics to every metal song performed, as the guy to my left did all night.

Rock on, rock proud.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

If You Had My Love

I must comment on this J. Lo biz. Why not? I'm now a blogger, after all, and this means the gossip element is strong.

So she got married out here in Beverly Hills over the weekend. And didn't they look lovely? Folks are teasing about Marc Anthony not being all that much, but being a Latina with a weakness for the Latin pop stuff, I can tell you he's been around for years and is actually pretty darned good. He's not just all "I Need to Know;" he actually did some quality salsa - good for hip shaking - years before that. And I loved the first J. Lo album, much in the same way that I love Midori sours... I know it's basically candy - but I can't help myself!

So anyway, what I really want to know is... why didn't she marry (or at least break off an engagement to) Puff Daddy? P.Diddy? Sean John? I mean, she was with this guy longer than she was with any of her husbands/ ex-husbands/ ex-fiancees. He's stylish and hip and has good dance moves and all that other stuff she seems to appreciate.

News on the street is that Mrs. Anthony the 3rd (I think) is already knocked up, hence the quickie marriage. Whatever.

I dated this guy once who told me he loved me after two weeks. I was a little more than stunned. We broke up a month later and I didn't really notice. Then he proposed to his next girlfriend after they'd been dating for a month... only she accepted, and he promptly dumped her for being stupid enough to want to marry him.

Okay, J. Lo is kinda reminding me of that guy. So we'll see. I won't even bother placing any bets cuz it's just waaaaaay to easy of a call...

Monday, June 07, 2004

I Left My Heart ...

Not a day goes by that I don't miss living in the Bay Area. That doesn't mean I'm going back, though, LA has been wonderful to me so far. With the exception of one extremely nasty string of bad luck at the end of 2002, I've loved it.

I also love San Diego, where I grew up. However, I only love it within certain constraints:

1. At the beaches in the North County (Encinitas, Leucadia, Del Mar)
2. At the yummy fast food Mexican places (Alberto's, Karina's, Juanita's, Roberto's)
3. With the smattering of friends I grew up with and the family cats
4. Old Town

Mostly, I think San Diego pretty much sucks. I was just there this weekend, and every other second was reminded of the things that suck:

1. The military. They are everywhere because SD has it all... Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. And all the special branches of those things too. I saw a hovercraft at the beach as I went past Camp Pendleton (where I also attended the prom, NOT with a Marine thank you very much.)

2. Frat Boys. Rather - the frat boy mentality - in the bad way. I knew plenty of ok frat boys in my day, but these are the sideways baseball hat long pocketed shorts Grateful Dead bracelet scruffily manicured facial hair blasting Bob Marley guys I'm referring to. The ones that pull up alongside a carfull of girls and hoot through the glass before remembering they can roll down the window to yell, "Wanna suck my dick?" Yea, those guys.

3. The rich, overly tan guys from other countries in silky flowered print shirts wearing too many rings who ask you to get drunk with them and do karaoke while they attempt to feel you up.

4. The drunk, overly tan bleached blonde women with smudged eyeliner and incredibly buoyant breasts holding up scraps of tank tops worn with polyester pants and pointy open toed sandals laughing too loud and draping themselves over potential new boyfriends.

5. The lack of nightlife. Well, there's plenty of nightlife is you include the places where the drunk, overly tan people hang out.

Okay, San Diego doesn't totally suck. There just aren't a lot of options for a gal like me. But more or less, I always seem to run into what I listed above.

Case in point: several years ago, I worked for Spike & Mike's Festival of Animation. I was glad to get the gig, especially after every other job I tried to get turned me down because I had a tiny little nosering. I did everything from promotions to office work to announcing the shows to selling shit at the merchandise table. Mike had already been dead a couple years, and Spike was traveling. Everyone had told me Spike was an asshole, but I didn't think it would be too bad. He was back for about two days when we did a show in La Jolla. He walked up to me and said, "Who are you?" I told him. He grunted. Then he walked about 2 feet away and said to my manager, "Put her out on the street to hand out flyers. Those tits will get some action." I quit on the spot and moved back to Berkeley.

But those "Cuidado! Family crossing!" signs are pretty rad...

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Just Drive, She Said

LA is all about the automobile. They trashed the public transportation from back in the day for freeways, elevated the status of the car to godlike proportions, and rebel better than anyone else when the gas prices get too horrifying. And there is a sea of beautiful car washes scattered throughout the land - lovely blocks of colorful Miami-esque architecture where you can make your car all shiny and nice again.

There are also some whoppers in the vanity plate arena.

When I was visiting some cousins in Philly a zillion years ago, they told me that Pennsylvania had a law banning bumper stickers and vanity plates because people kept crashing into each other trying to read them. That's never been the case in Cali!

Lately, I've seen a couple that have stuck with me. A big haired platinum blonde older lady, in a Mercedes convertible, license plate reading : "TOY4ME." Okay, not too surprising.

In Beverly Hills: A thirtysomething guy in a snazzy suit, leaning against his silver convertible Audi TT, talking on his phone, tie blowing in the breeze... His plates? "BUYUOUT."

In West Hollywood: a super hot buffed out dark haired ethnic guy in a Hummer, rainbow stickers on the bumper and a plate that read "HUM ME." I wonder what he meant?

And my favorite, spotted in the Hollywood Hills... a vintage Porsche Roadster driven by a balding middle aged guy, remaining gray hairs flying in the wind, much younger woman with lacquered nails tapping his shoulder to the beat of Zero 7... Plate? "ZENSUAL." Wow.