Monday, February 06, 2006

Colin Callin'...

Okay, so I saw the Colin Farrell sex tape.

Well, not all of it, just a condensed version. And I took away two things from it: all those rumors about Colin's package may have some merit after all (but he's a little guy, so it may also be all about the angling), and EVERYBODY looks hilarious when they are having sex.

And from what I saw, he was very, very chatty. There were moments where his Irish brogue made it a bit tough to decipher, but moments where it was crystal clear.

"Holy fuck, man. Breakfast, lunch, and fucking dinner, right here. I'm not even fucking joking." One guess as to what he was...ummm...eating. But he has to interrupt to throw that one out there? Hot. If somebody was working on me and started yammering like that, I'd have to tell him to shut up, cuz it ain't gonna lick itself, you know?

"Holy shit, I didn't know they made bastards as sexy as you, man." No, this was not a quote from his memorable performance as Alexander the Great in a heated exchange with boy toy Jared Leto. In case you forgot, Colin was hooked up with Nicole Narain, a Playboy playmate. Gender slang means nothing to Mr. Farrell - hell, I call girls "Dude" all the time!

"You're just's like you're going fishing for fucking pubes, man. You're just catching every fucking pube I have." Okay, everybody turned on yet?

"Whatever princess wants, princess fucking gets, let me tell you." Aw, it's not like ole Colin doesn't care.

(Special thanks to Shrimpjaw for making the painstaking effort to transcribe the whole damn thing...)