Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Filthy Gorgeous

Absolutely not. Here is a dirty story...

A few months back, I was hit on by a stripper. A male stripper dancing in a gay club. And he called me and sent me text messages and picture messages of his flexy bad self. I try not to repeat myself too often here, but this was a hilarious (bordering on annoying) situation that has never happened before and will probably never happen again, so here are the bullet points:

- The club was called Rimjob.
- The stripper was wearing undies and a cowboy hat.
- He chewed gum like the little coke whore he most likely was.
- He would leave me detailed messages about his various workouts, and actually used the phrase "crack my abs," twice.
- He would general use the term "sexy lady" in every other sentence when speaking to my voice mail.
- He worked exclusively in gay bars.

Why did I give him my number? Because it was funny. Because my gay friends were adamant that I do so - because it was funny. And, well, he's pretty hot. Dirty, but hot. (For the original posts, click here for Part One, and here for Part Two.)

These are the questions I wanted to ask him:

1. Are you gay?
2. Okay then, you must be bi...
3. Do you keep pictures of yourself on your phone to just send out to all the phone numbers you've collected at your various gigs?
4. Who takes these pictures of you?
5. What do you want to be: model or actor?
6. Why do you go-go dance at all these gay places if you aren't totally gay?
7. Are you a total gigolo or what?
8. How many drugs do you take?

I now know the answer to Number 7.


While my best friend was casually surfing gay porn sites the other night, he came across this:

Treat Yourself To a Great Time .. Im an all American boy nextdoor type
Highschool wrestler..Looking for Someone whos into Bodyworship Or
appreciating a Very Masculine Man...... Do you love giving head until I
a hot load ...I'm your man.... Do you feel like a Naughty boy? Do you
to be spanked? I'll Spank that ass..! I'll be your DADDY. Dont mind
delivering water sports...Not a recipient. Very sweet and down to earth
small town boy. Pefer Calls to E-mail. No Calls before 10 am.......
Sexy as
fuck ..You won't be dissappointed.....Flash

Really! And there were pictures! Including one he sent me! We loved that, because at the time, we were wondering who could have taken the picture. He obviously didn't do it, and it was in his cell phone. Does he keep a stock pile to send out to potential "clients?" That's what we jokingly thought at the time, and it turns out it's true. He charges $275 for what I could've had for free. Unless he thought I was a Sugar Mama. Ha!

So here's the pic for you all to enjoy. Bon appetit.

Oh, by the way, he's a Top.