Thursday, June 22, 2006

My Big Fat Gay Weekend

I’m a total fag hag. Have I ever mentioned this? Well, I am. But not as much as I used to be. (Hell, my mom’s a fag hag too. These things run in the family, it seems.) I used to be at gay clubs every weekend, but now I have more gay friends who like to see bands and stuff. Essentially, I don’t find myself in the clubs so much.

Last weekend was Pride LA, however, when all the gays gather in one 6 block area of roped off street in West Hollywood. But that’s not where we start this… I wasn’t at Pride on Saturday night, when bands like Animotion (oh my, yes! Animotion!) and the Bangles were tearin’ it up.

I was at a warehouse in what I like to call “the rotten food district” of downtown LA. Peaches was playing. It was a private party to showcase her new band, because…well… she never had a band before. Now she’s on that Bauhaus / Nine Inch Nails tour, and decided she should have a band. And they ROCKED! Samantha Maloney on drums (she’s played with Hole AND Motley Crue and was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen with sticks), JD from Le Tigre, and that Radio chick who has played with every hot indie lesbian group ever, and I can’t think of the name of a single one.

Anyway, it was crazy fun. Tons of gay boys crammed up against the stage yelling stuff like “shake yer dix shake yer tits” and “come diddle my skittle” and such. Girls were headbanging girls. I think half the actresses from “The L Word” were there. By the end of the show (after a couple costume changes) she was wearing a black cape with a hot pink “XXX” emblazoned across the back. Hmmm… what else is in the teaches of Peaches? All… right.

The next day was Pride, and BOY, was it boring!

My friends were entertaining. There were three stages… the one for all the pretty circuit boys to dance at (which we started to refer to as Waxlandia) which was blaring the mindless house music, one that featured the worst live music ever collected in one place, and one that was, essentially, the gay Mexican cowboy stage. Drag queens done up like Celia Cruz and singing Madonna to line dancing crowds dominated this scene, and it kinda ruled.

By the time Bow Wow Wow was creaking out a tragic version of “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” I decided to cab it home. I had a real show to get to… Spank Rock at Spaceland.

The set was opened by Low Budget from Hollertronix, and immediately made me and my friend hyper. How awesome is that? My tired, jaded ass got up to dance. Now, I’m always one to dance at shows, but this was practically REAL dancing. It was an excellent warmup for the main act, who tore it up, real nasty electronica hip hop style. Does that make sense?

Spank Rock has lots of lyrics like ‘tap that ass” and “funky ass titties” and “hump back tramp” and stuff. So I supposed my weekend was filled with squelchy electronic beats and raunchy lowest common denominator lyrics. But so what? It was fun. It had a good beat and you could dance to it. A lot.

Afterwards, my friend and I were outside talking to some other folks when someone noticed Dave Chapelle was standing by the side walk. Turns out that his best friend, Mos Def, was also nearby. I actually got to meet Mos about a month ago, and he was a sweetheart and just the nicest guy, so I decided to say hi.
Luckily, he remembered who the hell I was , and was again, the nicest guy. We talked about Spank Rock, who he had been talking to when I approached, and was so excited about the show he was sort of hopping around. Then he said, “You know, I meant to tell you when I was at your office, but you have amazing teeth.” This made me laugh out loud, because my fangs (they are in the wrong place so I can sometimes look a bit like a vampire) are a tricky subject in my household, but most people don’t even notice. Except Mos Def, and he thinks they are amazing.


And that was the weekend of June 10th – 11th. It is now officially summer, so let’s see what else comes up…