When I was 2, my parents took me to Disneyland for the first time. I was so happy when I saw the (now non-existent) Disneyland sign that I threw up. I did this several times during the day, so we all had to leave.
When I was in high school, some friends of mine got taken to Disney jail for drinking champagne in the parking lot (now California Adventure). By then, we'd heard the rumors of a secret bar, located somewhere in Disneyland, where the super rich could go for a fancy meal and booze. It was the stuff of legend. Club 33, it was called.
And it's real! Never mind how I finally got to go to Club 33, but I did. And had, as my friend Fluffy put it, the Happiest Martini on Earth. Actually, that's what he had. We had other libations. And nummy food.
Club 33 is located in New Orleans Square, its door just outside of the exit of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Supposedly, there is a waiting list 20 years long to become a member, and some outrageous dues. If you are lucky enough to get a reservation there, you get free entrance to both of the theme parks as well. When your time comes, you buzz an intercom at the club door, give your name, and you're in. They take you up the French lift to the dining room, and more importantly, the bar.
Club 33 was originally built as a place of refuge for stockholders, celebrities, and visiting dignitaries. Hanging on the walls are framed sketches for Pirates and the Haunted Mansion rides. Even the original paintings (which grow in the elevator portion at the start of the Haunted Mansion ride) are here. It's chock full of gorgeous antiques, Mrs. Disney's touch. Outside of the dining room is a balcony overlooking the New Orleans and river portion of Disneyland - but what's best about it is that nobody down below can figure out how you got on that balcony in the first place.
Mickey's Dining Room (the area was called something like that) was filled with personal Walt Disney memorabilia: photos of the family, sketches by others, early Mickey drawings, Academy Awards... and the talking vulture. Would it be a true Disneyland experience if there wasn't something animatronic involved? Walt created this vulture to perch in a corner of the room. He was going to plant microphones at every table so that a hidden actor could eavesdrop on conversations and have the vulture respond accordingly. But Walt died before the room was finished, so the vulture stayed silent. So you can still talk dirty (quietly) in Mickey's Dining Room and the vulture won't rat you out.
So you CAN drink at Disneyland. They'll even serve you, if you get to the right place. "Cause if a mouse can be special, well so can you!" (Thank God for Sparks, man.)
