Happy Hallmark Card Day! (Ugh...)

I pretty much hate Valentine's Day. Is this "holiday" celebrated in other countries? And I don't just dislike it because I'm a single gal, I pretty much hate it when I have a boyfriend too (which is good for the guy cuz he's off the hook).

When I was a kid, it always seemed like V-Day was all about whoever got the most cards. You know, those little bitty superhero or Snoopy or Barbie cards... I love those cards. I kept sending them to friends until just a few years ago, and intend to start again at some point. Anyway, when I was 8, I got the most cards out of everybody in my whole class. Of course, I had a broken leg at the time, and people were just trying to sweeten me up so that I'd let them use my crutches. Whatever; I got shitloads of cards.

In college, I worked in a card and candy shop. When Valentine's Day would roll around, we'd be half out of everything, no matter how well we planned, and it appeared that only a third of the student population had been shopping. Basically, we never had enough stuff for the procrastinators. These people would come to the shop, absolutely flipping out: "What? You mean you have no more champagne truffles? What is your fucking problem? Don't you people plan?" It was the only day I could actually respond. "Of course we planned. You didn't. Step off." Then I'd get to see a frat boy cry. That's quite a sight.

The absolute lamest thing about Valentine's is that it is presented by retailers as the one day you have the chance to make things right, to be warm and fuzzy, to give swanky gifts, to have a romantic experience, to say I love you. Bullshit. You can do that any ole time of the year. So although I let my boyfriends off the hook about getting flowers or going to dinner or any other business associated with Valentine's Day - I expect it from them the rest of the year. Who says that April 8th isn't a helluva romantic day? Or November 15th? Or August 12th?

Instead of caving to the pressures that this "holiday" seems to create for a (sadly) huge percentage of people in this country, just blow it off. And show the love whenever you feel like it. To quote Andre 3000: "I just wanna say Happy Valentine's Day! Every day the 14th! Can y'all dig that?"

That's the spirit. And if you want to get me something for Valentine's Day, this will do. I'd marry the first guy that realizes why I appreciate the joke.

Now go drinking with your friends! I am!