Friday, March 30, 2007

Letter From Texas

So when I went to SXSW, I did the time honored practice of renting a room from somebody via Craigslist. Now, I was actually sent there for work, but my company is so lame that they decided 2 weeks before the event, and you know there ain't no rooms available in any hotels at that point.

I needed a letter from my "landlord" in order to get reimbursed. This is what she sent. I love her.

March 19, 2007

To Whom it May Concern,

This is a letter to confirm that Mo rented a room from me during the SXSW Music Festival. She paid me for the nights of March, 14-17. While I found her overall demeanor to be pleasant, she was fairly finicky and demanded both turn-down service and mints on her pillow. What was particularly perplexing about her demands was the fact that she is… something of a pig. While my lawyer has cautioned me to not offer too many details, let me just give you a quick run-down of her antics, night by night:

March 15, 3:15 AM: I found Mo and Pete Townshend deliberately clogging my kitchen sink with Raisin Bran and soy milk. They both had devilish glimmers in their eyes, and I knew that the bathroom sinks were next. My plumber said she’d never seen anything like it.

March 16, 2:58 AM: I was awoken by the crooning of a gaggle of Swedish hipsters in the tightest white pants I’d ever seen. Were they cute? Of course. Did the neighbors appreciate Mo leading them in a drunken ABBA sing-a-long? Not so much.

March 17, 3:05 AM: four words---Mo and John Doe. That’s all I have to say about that.

So, all in all, it was a good time. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. And the plumber.

Have a great day, and keep an eye on Mo---she CRAZY,


All lies, every word. Except for the Swedes... and boy, those white pants WERE tight!