Tuesday, April 12, 2005

And You Shake It All About

My friend Dax was in a horrible car accident and is now recovering, although he has been partially paralyzed. Various fundraisers are being held for him, and all three Amoeba Music stores are selling pink bandanas to raise money for a wheelchair for him. Why a pink bandana? Well, Dax is a big hairy bear. And by that I mean a barrel chested furry gay man into other barrel chested furry gay men. He toured all over the country, and liked to try and hook up with other bears along the way... and sometimes, just wanted to be a bitch and piss people off by wearing the pink hanky from his right pocket, because in gay hanky code, this means "I am a bottom who likes getting a dildo up the ass." He liked to explain it to unsuspecting homophobes.

I've been teasing my straight friends who are wandering around the store with their hankies dangling from their pockets, because the code was a learning experience for them too. Now just about every employee at Amoeba knows what the pink hanky means. But what about other colors? Well, there are way more colors to this rainbow than I thought, but here are some examples:

black: heavy s&m
fuschia: spanking
lavender: drag (duh)
brown & white stripes: like Latinos
fur: animals included
lemon: enema
lime green: sex with food
red: anal fisting

And if you have a electrical plug hanging from your pocket, you're into electrical shock as foreplay. Or something.

You know how the gays are the first ones to do the coolest thing? Like symbolize their preferences with hankies? Of course, some straights have to come along and try to take that away. And in this instance, it's Christians and goths. No, seriously. So if you think snake handling is inspired by the Holy Spirit, then a green doily in your right back pocket is for you! Watch out for the kids with a crushed red velvet hanky though, because they're pretty sure they're actually vampires.