6:00pm - Opening prayer
6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer
6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers
6:45pm - New energy policy presented (in secret session) by Exxon
7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan
Swift Boat Veterans announce Reagan single-handedly defeated Hitler
7:15pm - Additional prayers
7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton 's CEO
8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken Lay
8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton
8:22pm - Adoption of Republican Platform.
United States of America to be renamed in honor of Ronald Reagan
8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual
8:45pm - Donor lottery to draft new healthcare policy.
9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)
9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party
9:30pm - Reagan elevated to Co-Saviour (Holy Trinity now referred to as "the Quad")
9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan
10: 00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go f__k himself
10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea
10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old girl who had an abortion after being raped by her cousin
10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf
11:00pm - Stoning of the first homosexual's partner
11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyrhauser
11:30pm - Silent Auction of all Federal Land.
11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as President
12:00am - Closing prayer
12:01am - Hookers arrive!
