On the Ground Like A Wild Potato

Afraid that nobody around here
Understands my potato
I think I'm only a spud boy
Looking for a real tomato
-DEVO

I love potatoes. A lot. So much that the word "spud" is incorporated into my phone number somehow.

While I was growing up, I hung out with a bunch of boys. They loved Devo, the B52s, and called themselves the Spuds. I infiltrated this nerd gang proudly. We still hang out. We still call ourselves the Spuds. (However, we neglected to ever get jackets made or anything.)

One of us has always had the Spud phone number.

In my home town, there was a place I loved to eat called the Potato Shack. In Berkeley, it was the Spud Brothers. Yummy baked potatoes smothered in pesto or alfredo sauce with broccoli or mozzarella... Man, I loved that place.

There is now going to be a low carb spud. This to me is like diet Mountain Dew; completely sacrilegious.

Enjoy your diet potato, carb counters! I will continue to heap mine with cheese and bacon and mushrooms and butter and laugh at you while enjoying my tasty treat. Never will french fries or hash browns or tater tots disappear from my life!

And I won't gain a pound. It's all in your minds, people.